Posted by John Donovan: 15 Nov 2024
Shell. The “shining” beacon of fossil-fueled ambition and unparalleled disregard for basic humanity. While the world scrambles to mitigate climate catastrophe, Shell’s Prelude FLNG facility, a floating natural gas disaster masquerading as innovation, proves that cutting corners is the only thing this oil giant seems to excel at. And now, surprise! Shell faces yet another worker rebellion on this colossal misfire. Honestly, at this point, we should just call it the Touch Fuck All facility.
Prelude FLNG: A Masterclass in Corporate Hubris
Prelude, Shell’s floating liquefied natural gas platform, was touted as a technological marvel—a 3.6-million-tonnes-per-annum cash cow set to redefine the energy sector. Instead, it has become a floating cautionary tale, plagued by mechanical failures, safety violations, and enough worker dissatisfaction to make any HR department spontaneously combust. Since shipping its first cargo in June 2019, this engineering “wonder” has spent more time offline than a dial-up modem in the ‘90s.
Now, the logistics workers from Qube Offshore, who keep this floating disaster operational, have had enough. They’ve voted for protected industrial action, citing the same negligence that Shell so lovingly slathers across all its projects. Who could blame them? Shell’s track record with offshore worker safety is so abysmal that even the term “safety” starts feeling like satire.
Ah, Shell. The same company that has perfected the art of environmental destruction, employee exploitation, and moral bankruptcy now wants us all to get excited about its shiny new biofuels project in Brazil. Because, apparently, nothing says “we care about the planet” like an oil giant boasting about squeezing a few more drops of ethanol out of sugarcane while continuing to plunder the earth’s resources.
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