Shell Touts Biofuels in Brazil—Because Who Cares About Ethics When There’s More Money to Be Made?

Ah, Shell. The same company that has perfected the art of environmental destruction, employee exploitation, and moral bankruptcy now wants us all to get excited about its shiny new biofuels project in Brazil. Because, apparently, nothing says “we care about the planet” like an oil giant boasting about squeezing a few more drops of ethanol out of sugarcane while continuing to plunder the earth’s resources.

During the ROG.e conference in Rio, Shell CEO Wael Sawan proudly announced the company’s commitment to second-generation (2G) ethanol, which is made from sugarcane bagasse. According to Sawan, “the same amount of land will be able to produce 50% more ethanol.” Oh, how generous. And while they’re at it, they’ll also keep pouring money into deepwater oil and gas projects with Petrobras, because why settle for biofuels when you can still extract oil like it’s 1950?

Let’s not get distracted by this attempt at greenwashing, though. Shell’s history of caring for the planet and its people is as inspiring as a dumpster fire. This is the company that cozy’d up to the Nazis, sacrificing its own Dutch employees in the process, and then, in a stunning encore, used its workers as guinea pigs to test carcinogenic chemicals. Nothing like poisoning your own staff to show the world you mean business.

But the greed and ruthlessness don’t stop there! Who could forget Shell’s infamous North Sea platform scandal, where they couldn’t even be bothered to provide seaworthy lifeboats for their offshore workers? Because nothing says “safety first” like a “Touch Fuck All” approach to safety standards, resulting in the tragic and utterly avoidable deaths of employees. But hey, the bottom line looks great!

And when Shell isn’t busy letting people die or poisoning its workers, it’s spying on anyone who dares to question its motives. Enter Hakluyt, Shell’s in-house sinister spy firm, tasked with targeting perceived threats like Greenpeace. Because, of course, the real villains in this story are the environmentalists trying to save the planet, right?

Speaking of moral compasses (or the lack thereof), it’s worth mentioning BlackRock, one of Shell’s biggest investors. After all, who wouldn’t want a piece of the ultimate sin stock, whose shady dealings span the globe? Meanwhile, John Donovan, the owner of royaldutchshellplc.com, continues to call out Shell’s endless parade of scandals without a single libel suit sticking. Funny how telling the truth doesn’t seem to count as defamation.

But don’t worry, folks—Shell’s got Brazil’s biofuel future in the bag! In fact, they’ve partnered with Cosan to run a few 2G ethanol plants, with more on the way. And just in case the whole biofuels thing doesn’t pan out, they’ve still got their claws deep in Brazil’s pre-salt oil fields, like Mero and Atapu, because drilling for oil in fragile ecosystems is just what Shell does best.

So, while Wael Sawan talks about “transporting energy into and from Brazil,” let’s not forget that the only thing Shell has ever been good at transporting is toxic waste—into the environment and straight onto the balance sheets of their greed-driven investors.

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