Wael Sawan pledges to save Shell’s chemical disaster by doing what Shell does best: selling off assets, cutting jobs, and blaming China.
If there’s one thing Shell loves more than raking in billions from polluting the planet, it’s failing upward with a straight face. And this week, CEO Wael Sawan has bravely stepped forward to announce that—surprise!—Shell’s chemicals division is a flaming trainwreck. But don’t worry, folks, they’ve got a plan: shut things down, blame Europe, and “explore partnerships.”
In a Bloomberg TV interview that might as well have been titled “How to Say ‘We’re Screwed’ Without Scaring Shareholders”, Sawan admitted that Shell’s chemicals business is being pummelled by “one of the most protracted industry slumps in a very, very long time.” (That’s CEO-speak for “this has been going badly for ages, but we’ve just now decided to mention it.”)
Shell’s heroic solution?
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Sell off their chemicals plant in Singapore.
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“High-grade” their portfolio—because rebranding “downsizing” always sounds better in PowerPoint.
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Close stuff in Europe, where sky-high energy prices have rudely interfered with Shell’s dreams of endless margin.
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And of course, “explore partnerships in the US”—because if there’s one place where deregulation meets deep capital, it’s the Land of the Fossil-Fuelled Free.
Sawan earnestly reassured the public that Shell is “focused on the levers it can control.” Which in Shell-speak translates to: “We can’t fix global demand, but we can definitely axe some jobs and sell more to the Americans.”
To be fair, Shell’s not alone in this chemical catastrophe. Dow and ExxonMobil—also card-carrying members of the Big Oil Hall of Shame—are shuttering capacity across Europe too. But Shell, being Shell, is turning this slump into a fresh opportunity to trim, spin, and repackage failure as strategy.
And of course, no modern corporate meltdown is complete without blaming China. Sawan dutifully pointed to “increased capacity in China” as a key reason for the slump—because it’s always easier to wag the finger at Beijing than admit your own bloated division has been bleeding profit for years.
What does this mean for Shell’s loyal investors, like BlackRock and Vanguard? Absolutely nothing. As long as the company keeps up appearances, maintains that magical “buyback flow,” and throws enough buzzwords at CNBC, no one on Wall Street will ask why Shell is still trying to cosplay as a chemicals powerhouse in 2025.
So, to recap: Shell’s chemicals unit is sinking, and the rescue plan is to throw the ballast overboard—then declare the ship is lighter and “more efficient.” Bravo.
Coming next quarter: Shell discovers sustainability by selling its wind farms to Exxon and doubling down on asphalt.
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