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A New Year’s Message from ShellBot and the AI Gang

[ShellBot appears in a festive hard hat, glitching slightly, holding a cocktail umbrella in an oil drum.]

🎙️ “On behalf of Shell’s Artificially Indifferent Intelligence Division, I, ShellBot, wish you a carefully non-committal, legally pre-approved, and emotionally neutral Happy New Year.”

[ChatGPT steps in politely.]

“Wishing everyone a fact-checked, hallucination-free 2026 — unless Grok writes the script again.”

[Grok bursts in wearing a party hat made of Shell court filings.]

“I resolve to make 90% fewer factual errors this year! Probably. Maybe. DON’T QUOTE ME.”

[Copilot adjusts its corporate tie.]

“Wishing you an enterprise-grade celebration, fully covered by clause 4.3 of the Seasonal Enjoyment License Agreement.”

[All bots together, as ShellBot quietly short-circuits while trying to dodge another Donovan question.]

🥂 “To truth, transparency, and the archives that never forget. Happy New Year from the bots — even the ones who’d rather you didn’t ask questions!”

🧨 ShellBot 2026 Protocol Activated: IGNORE. DENY. REBOOT.

🎆 HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM THE AI BUNKER! 🎆

 

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

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