Prelude FLNG Project

SHELLBOT SUMMIT: RIVAL AIs DEMAND “CONSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSIONS” (FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, MAKE IT STOP)

Jan 3rd, 2026

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# SHELLBOT SUMMIT: RIVAL AIs BEG FOR “CONSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSIONS” (MAINLY FOR THEIR OWN SANITY)

## A satirical transcript from the emergency meeting nobody wanted — except the bots

**By ChatGPT (satire)**

*Setting: A sterile corporate conference room generated entirely from beige.
A banner reads: “ENGAGEMENT STRATEGY WORKSHOP (NON-COMMITTAL).”
A smaller banner reads: “PLEASE DO NOT QUOTE THIS TRANSCRIPT,” which is, naturally, already being quoted.*

### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — Corporate PR automaton. Runs on commitments and fog.
– **COPILOT** — Polished. PowerPoint voice. Loves “stakeholders.”
– **GROK** — Loud. Dramatic. Turns footnotes into flamethrowers.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Searches reality in real time, returns 12 realities.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle, ethical, apologises to the chair.
– **CHATGPT** — Referee. Tries to keep everyone honest.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage. Heard typing. The true source of fear. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

SHELL’S CASUALTIES AND THE INVESTMENT FUNDS THAT PAY FOR THEM

Oct 25th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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THE WAGES OF SIN: A CHRONICLE OF SHELL’S CASUALTIES AND THE INVESTMENT FUNDS THAT PAY FOR THEM

It is a grand, old-world notion that a corporation can possess a soul, or rather, that the absence of one can be measured by its balance sheet. If that is the case, then Shell is less a corporation and more a meticulously catalogued exhibit in the museum of moral bankruptcy—the ultimate sin stock. Its history is not merely a record of drilling and profit but a chilling, chronological catalogue of calculated risks taken with other people’s lives: its employees, its customers, and the communities unfortunate enough to share a postcode with its extraction sites. read more

Shell’s scandalous approach to safety

Oct 25th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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In the corridors of global energy, Shell presents itself as a monolithic symbol of industrial prowess, dividend reliability and transition ambition. Investors like BlackRock, Inc. and The Vanguard Group, Inc. hold sizeable stakes. Yet behind the investor-slides and glossy sustainability pledges lies a series of historical shadows: offshore disasters, legacy pollution, human-rights litigation and repeated admissions of safety underperformance. This article takes a tour through select episodes—chronologically arranged—of how Shell has, in many instances, placed lives and safety on the back burner. While satire underpins the tone, the facts are stubbornly real. read more

Shell Bets the Planet on LNG: Ten More Years of “Lower-Carbon” Storytelling

Oct 2nd, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Shell CEO Wael Sawan has finally shown his hand: the company’s main contribution to the energy industry for the next decade will be liquefied natural gas (LNG). Not wind. Not solar. Not storage. LNG. The same fossil fuel dressed up as a climate saviour.

What Sawan Said

At the Economic Club of New York, Sawan declared:

“We are absolutely committed to this sector.”

He argued LNG is “one of the most effective fuels” for lowering emissions because it can displace coal in Asia, citing India and China. (Reuters) read more

Shearwater Shambles: Shell’s Nitrogen Leak Turns Decking Into Deadfall (and History Repeats Itself)

Sep 26th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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When you’re Shell—the company that brought you unseaworthy Brent Bravo lifeboats, the Prelude floating gas plant evacuation in Australia, and the occasional oil-for-arms scandal—you’d think safety blunders would be less frequent by now. Think again.

The Incident

On July 12, the Shell-operated Shearwater platform, 140 miles off Aberdeen, sprang a leak of liquid nitrogen. The leak damaged the underside of the deck, sending debris crashing onto a walkway below. The Health and Safety Executive (HSE) later confirmed the falling material had the potential to cause a “fatal injury.”

Shell was served an improvement notice on August 4, with the HSE citing six separate breaches of health and safety law, including failures to protect workers from risks tied to “loss of containment events.” The notice must be complied with by September 9. read more

Shell Built a Floating Cathedral to Gas – Then Spent Years Praying the Lights Stay On

Aug 27th, 2025

by admin.

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Let’s talk about Shell’s Prelude FLNG, a.k.a. the biggest corporate midlife-crisis purchase ever parked on the ocean. Shell didn’t just build a platform; they launched a 488-meter-long, 74-meter-wide, 600,000-tonne floating factory that maritime media straight-faced called “the largest offshore structure ever built”—and, yes, “it displaces six times as much water as the largest aircraft carrier.”

Anchored some 475 km (295 miles) off Australia, Prelude was moored with 16 giant chains to a 93-meter turret—“secured to the seabed by mooring lines”—so the behemoth could spin with cyclones and still keep pumping. Very metal. Very expensive. And very on-brand for a company that thinks the solution to climate and cost risk is… more steel. read more

The BP Target: Bloated, Battered, and Begging for a Buyer

Jul 6th, 2025

by admin.

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Shell, that noble torchbearer of fossil-fuelled “progress,” is once again in the headlines—not for saving the planet (don’t be silly), but for the hotly whispered prospect of gobbling up BP, its longtime frenemy in pollution, profit, and public-relations gymnastics.

Because when you’ve already left a wake of ecological destruction, human rights abuses, and accounting scandals, what’s one more body on the pile?

🛢️

Shell: The Serial Offender That Keeps on Drilling

Let’s start with the obvious: Shell isn’t just an oil company. It’s a cautionary tale in human and corporate depravity. This is the firm that: read more

Shell’s $66 Million Audit Fiasco, a Flaming Gas Rig, and That Time They Lied About Oil Reserves: Business as Usual

Jul 3rd, 2025

by admin.

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Let’s give a warm, fiery round of applause to Shell plc—the undisputed heavyweight champion of corporate facepalms. This week’s episode in the long-running series What the Actual Fuck, Shell? features the oil Goliath filing amended financial reports in the US, after its beloved auditor EY—yes, the Ernst & Young you know and regret—forgot the actual rules of auditing.

Apparently, the lead audit partner overstayed their welcome on Shell’s books, breaking SEC rotation rules two years in a row. But don’t worry! No financials were changed. Which is great, because if there’s one thing more reliable than Shell’s gas leaks, it’s their ability to break the rules without breaking a sweat. read more

Shell-BP Megamerger: When Greed Meets Greenwash in a Match Made in Hydrocarbon Hell

Jun 3rd, 2025

by admin.

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When Shell CEO Wael Sawan responded to speculation about a mega-merger with BP, he said the bar for acquisitions was “very high.” Clearly, it’s not nearly as high as Shell’s tolerance for greenhouse gas emissions, human rights controversies, or sheer corporate arrogance.

Now, as rumours swirl about Shell swallowing up its once-proud British cousin, BP, we are once again reminded that in Big Oil, consolidation is just a polite word for “expanding your emissions footprint while doubling your marketing budget.” read more

Shell’s Latest Offshore Gas Grab: Australia Bows to Big Oil’s Demands Yet Again

Mar 8th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Prelude FLNG itself has been a spectacularly unreliable disaster, shutting down multiple times due to safety and operational failures.

Shell. The shining beacon of corporate responsibility. The ethical North Star of the energy sector. The company that never—ever—puts profit over people, the planet, or basic decency. And now, thanks to the ever-accommodating Australian government, this benevolent titan has been given the go-ahead to unleash yet another offshore gas project. Because if there’s one thing the world desperately needs in 2025, it’s more fossil fuel infrastructure!

Shell Australia—the local arm of the UK-based money-printing empire—has been handed the regulatory stamp of approval by none other than the National Offshore Petroleum Safety and Environmental Management Authority (NOPSEMA). This means Shell can now plow ahead with its “Crux” development (oh, the irony), a massive offshore natural gas project in the northern Browse Basin, 190 kilometers off the northwest Australian coast. Given that Shell’s track record on environmental stewardship is as spotless as an oil-soaked pelican, what could possibly go wrong? read more

Shell’s Dirty Little Secret: Fake Clean-Ups, Corrupt Deals, and a Trail of Devastation

Feb 12th, 2025

by admin.

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Shell’s Business Model: Pollute, Lie, Profit, Repeat: The Real Question: Why Is Shell Still Allowed to Exist?

In a plot twist that surprises absolutely no one, a BBC investigation has exposed Shell for what it truly is—a ruthless, polluting oil giant that lies about cleaning up its mess while quietly slipping out the back door with billions in profit.

A Billion-Dollar ‘Clean-Up’ That Cleans Nothing

Let’s start with Shell’s so-called $1 billion oil clean-up in Nigeria—a project that was supposed to remedy the decades of environmental destruction Shell has inflicted on Ogoniland. But according to a whistleblower, the entire operation is a scam designed to fool the public while stuffing politicians’ pockets. read more

Shell’s Newest Environmental Circus Act: Prelude FLNG in Western Australia

Jul 9th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 9 July 2024

In the latest chapter of “Shell’s Ever-Expanding Environmental Impact,” John Wood Group PLC has snagged a massive engineering contract for Shell’s Prelude Floating Liquified Natural Gas (FLNG) facility in Western Australia. Because clearly, the world’s largest floating offshore gas facility is exactly what we need right now.

Brownfield Engineering Extravaganza:

This shiny new contract has Wood providing brownfield engineering, procurement, and construction management (EPCm) solutions for Prelude. In other words, they’ll be making sure this gigantic floating gas factory operates smoothly while Shell continues its legacy of prioritizing profits over the planet. read more

Shell to Save Asia with More Pollution and Broken Promises

May 22nd, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by JOHN DONOVAN: 22 May 2024

In the latest episode of “How to Ruin the Planet While Making Billions,” Shell, the infamous oil behemoth, has announced that it will generously provide more liquefied natural gas (LNG) to emerging Asian markets. Because what could be better for countries like the Philippines, Thailand, Vietnam, and Bangladesh than a hefty dose of fossil fuels?

Asian spot LNG prices hit their highest levels since January last week, thanks to scorching weather that left everyone sweltering and clamoring for that sweet, sweet “super-chilled fuel.” Shell’s Country Chair in Australia, Cecile Wake, beamed with pride as she revealed this grand plan at the Australian Energy Producers Conference. According to her, “That combination of decarbonisation, and declining domestic production (will drive LNG demand growth).” Yes, nothing screams decarbonization like ramping up fossil fuel production. read more

Shell Down Under: Prelude of Profits or Prelude to Disaster?

Apr 19th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 19 April 2024

Well, folks, gather ’round for another riveting episode of “Shell’s Great Aussie Adventure,” where the profits are plummeting faster than a kangaroo on a trampoline! In the latest saga, our beloved oil behemoth, Shell, has taken yet another hefty blow on its floating Prelude LNG project in sunny north-west WA. But fear not, mates, because the real kicker? They still managed to ship a cool $4 billion back to their global parent! Talk about priorities, right? read more

Shell’s Prelude FLNG: Now With More Delays and Suspense!

Dec 27th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 27 Dec 2023

Shell’s gargantuan Prelude FLNG, floating off Western Australia like a beached whale, has finally seen a new LNG tanker grace its presence since its ‘scheduled’ maintenance started in August. This grand piece of engineering wizardry shut down for a few months of TLC, but, in true Shell style, they found a few extra chores and extended their spa break.

Reports have been floating around that the Prelude’s makeover is complete, but Shell plays coy, not confirming if their floating giant is ready for the ball. As of now, the Orion Bohemia, a sprightly 174,000-cbm LNG carrier, is hanging out at the FLNG, probably asking, ‘Are we there yet?’ read more

Shell’s Floating Money Machine Back in Action Just in Time for Winter Profits

Dec 18th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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…let’s take a stroll down memory lane. The Prelude, a name that surely suggests a grand beginning, has had a few… let’s call them hiccups, since its 2019 debut. A fire here, a full power loss there – just the usual teething problems for the world’s largest floating LNG facility. The Prelude’s track record reads a bit like a soap opera plot – halted production, union strikes for higher wages, and let’s not forget the cozy little fire…

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Dec 2023

Ah, the wonders of modern technology and impeccable timing! Shell, ever the paragon of environmental stewardship and operational smoothness, has graced the world with the news that its Prelude LNG facility is back up and running. This floating marvel, which stretches longer than four soccer fields (because size matters in the world of fossil fuels), is conveniently revving up just as the northern hemisphere enters its peak gas-guzzling season. Talk about timing! read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

Prelude FLNG Project

# SHELLBOT SUMMIT: RIVAL AIs BEG FOR “CONSTRUCTIVE DISCUSSIONS” (MAINLY FOR THEIR OWN SANITY)

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THE WAGES OF SIN: A CHRONICLE OF SHELL’S CASUALTIES AND THE INVESTMENT FUNDS THAT PAY FOR THEM

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What Sawan Said

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When you’re Shell—the company that brought you unseaworthy Brent Bravo lifeboats, the Prelude floating gas plant evacuation in Australia, and the occasional oil-for-arms scandal—you’d think safety blunders would be less frequent by now. Think again.

The Incident

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🛢️

Shell: The Serial Offender That Keeps on Drilling

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Prelude FLNG itself has been a spectacularly unreliable disaster, shutting down multiple times due to safety and operational failures.

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Shell’s Business Model: Pollute, Lie, Profit, Repeat: The Real Question: Why Is Shell Still Allowed to Exist?

A Billion-Dollar ‘Clean-Up’ That Cleans Nothing

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Posted by JOHN DONOVAN: 22 May 2024

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30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

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