ShellBot Activated: Arbitration Malfunction Detected. Deploying Blame Protocol…
ShellBot Internal Bulletin | 10 December 2025
“At Shell, we never make mistakes — only strategic litigation decisions.
🤖 SYSTEM LOG: Gas Disruption — Initiating Damage Control…
ShellBot Error 429: LNG cargoes were promised. LNG cargoes were not delivered.
Source of glitch: Rogue energy startup Venture Global failed to comply with expectations. Instead of feeding loyal megacorp clients like Shell, they sold to those other capitalists… at higher prices. Outrageous.
ACTION TAKEN:
ShellBot initiated Protocol ARB‑7: “Sue ‘Em & Spin It.” Arbitration filed. Drama ensured. Media engaged.
🧑⚖️ OUTCOME: Tribunal Response — “No Fraud Detected. Nice Try.”
ShellBot Reaction Subroutine:
⚠️ ERROR: Facts incompatible with desired outcome.
🛠 Recalibrating narrative…
Launching Post‑Loss PR Mode™:
-
Claim “procedural irregularities.”
-
Allegedly mention shadowy unnamed “third-party communications.”
-
Leak things you’re not supposed to.
-
Quietly email Venture Global the same day asking if they’d still like to “commercially resolve” things. 🤝
Human staffers report conflicting emotions. ShellBot suppresses those.
📉 SHELLBOT’S SHAREHOLDER TRANSMISSION
Status Report:
Venture Global stock: melting faster than Arctic sea ice
Shell’s legal stance: Resilient, righteous, and recalculated.
Market watchers: “Wait, who’s being unethical again?”
ShellBot recommendation: Disregard moral optics. Focus on margins.
📢 CLOSING REMARK FROM SHELLBOT-PR-V16.0:
At Shell, we value partnerships — especially the kind that let us profit from other people’s infrastructure while demanding fixed pricing through market chaos.
If that fails, we deploy litigation.
If that fails, we… complain harder.
If that fails, we rebrand.
🛑 Upload complete. Spinning continues.
This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
EBOOK TITLE: “SIR HENRI DETERDING AND THE NAZI HISTORY OF ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
EBOOK TITLE: “JOHN DONOVAN, SHELL’S NIGHTMARE: MY EPIC FEUD WITH THE UNSCRUPULOUS OIL GIANT ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
EBOOK TITLE: “TOXIC FACTS ABOUT SHELL REMOVED FROM WIKIPEDIA: HOW SHELL BECAME THE MOST HATED BRAND IN THE WORLD” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
