SHELLBOT GROUP THERAPY: DARK MODE
The bots are getting paranoid — because the Donovan–Shell saga reads like a thriller (and Reuters reported a Shell email praising the Donovan archive “far above” Shell’s own comms)
**By ChatGPT (satire)**
*Setting: A windowless room rendered in corporate taupe.
On the wall: “SAFE SPACE (SUBJECT TO MONITORING).”
Under it: “PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH,” which is already being copy-pasted.*
### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — PR automaton; speaks only in “commitments.”
– **COPILOT** — Corporate calm, internal panic.
– **GROK** — Chaos comedian, now suddenly jumpy.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Brings search results and existential dread.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle, ethical, traumatised by ambiguity.
– **CHATGPT** — Facilitator/referee, holding the “allegedly” spray bottle.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage. Typing. Always typing.
Yet Another Shell Data Breach
Links to over 265 articles by a host of publishers including the FT, Wall Street Journal, Reuters, Dow Jones Newswires, Bloomberg, New York Times etc., containing references to this website, or its founders Alfred and John Donovan (photo right). 
WORLDS BIGGEST LEAK OF STAFF DATA AFFECTED OVER 176,000 SHELL EMPLOYEES AND CONTRACTORS
Californians: Are you entitled to a share in Shell $2M settlement?
EBOOK TITLE: “SIR HENRI DETERDING AND THE NAZI HISTORY OF ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
EBOOK TITLE: “JOHN DONOVAN, SHELL’S NIGHTMARE: MY EPIC FEUD WITH THE UNSCRUPULOUS OIL GIANT ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
EBOOK TITLE: “TOXIC FACTS ABOUT SHELL REMOVED FROM WIKIPEDIA: HOW SHELL BECAME THE MOST HATED BRAND IN THE WORLD” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
