11 Oct 2024
Ah, Shell. The world’s paragon of corporate virtue is at it again, tirelessly working in the interest of humanity—or at least, humanity’s wealthiest elite. The oil and gas behemoth, whose ecological footprint can only be measured in extinction events, is currently devastated by a ruling from a U.S. regulator. Apparently, they won’t get to comb through all the juicy internal documents of Venture Global LNG that Shell so graciously funded. It’s almost like the U.S. courts have this crazy thing called “rules” about what documents can be demanded.
For those out of the loop, here’s the tear-jerking tragedy: Shell and a gaggle of other European energy titans (because one villain is never enough) are livid over losing billions in missed gas deliveries. They financed Venture Global’s shiny new Calcasieu Pass LNG facility, expecting the profits to roll in like the tides they’re destroying. But lo and behold, Venture Global had the audacity to sell that delicious, planet-warming LNG on the spot market for—get this—more money. The nerve!
Shell, the poor victim in this saga, is deeply hurt. Venture Global allegedly earned $3.5 billion (chump change, right?) from the spot market while flaking on long-term contracts with Shell and its equally greedy pals. Oh, and in case you’re wondering about specifics, Poland’s Orlen seems to have been hit hardest. Shell’s heart undoubtedly bleeds for them—$1.5 billion in extra sourcing costs after Venture ghosted on their gas supply? That must sting almost as much as Shell’s constant search for new ways to profit from fossil fuel extraction!
In the true spirit of corporate brotherhood, Shell sought access to all the dirt—uh, I mean, documents—from Venture Global’s commissioning process. But those pesky regulators only handed over some of the papers, leaving Shell to lament this grievous injustice. “How dare Venture Global take advantage of a loophole we might’ve used ourselves if given half a chance?” one imagines Shell muttering, stroking the fine leather armchairs in its pristine executive suites, likely bought with the fossilized remains of their latest oil spill.
To sum up: Shell is really, really mad they didn’t get to milk even more money out of an industry already known for planet-wide devastation. Perhaps BlackRock, one of Shell’s top investors and a beacon of environmental concern (cough), will be sending a sympathy card any day now. After all, they’re no strangers to profiting from other people’s misery.
Ah, corporate justice: where the rich fight the rich for ever more riches. Isn’t it heartwarming?
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