December, 2024:

Shell and Its Sinister Backpedal on Renewables

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Posted by John Donovan: 27 Dec 2024

In the grand theater of “profit before planet,” Shell—the poster child for greed, pollution, and shameless hypocrisy—has outdone itself. Once strutting around with lofty promises of becoming a world leader in clean energy, Shell has now quietly tossed its renewable ambitions into the trash can, along with any pretense of caring about the climate crisis. Instead, it’s all about fattening profits with oil and gas, the dirtiest of dirty fuels.

“Net Zero by 2050”: The Joke That Writes Itself read more

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Shell-Shocked: The Sinister World of Surveillance, Spy Games, and Shell’s Shadowy Past

Dec 23rd, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 23 Dec 24

Ah, Shell, that global paragon of corporate virtue (read: greed), is at it again—reminding the world that profit always comes first, no matter the cost. With a track record as smooth as an oil spill, Shell has managed to combine ruthless ambition, a touch of espionage, and an uncanny ability to slide through controversies unscathed. Let’s dive into the murky depths of corporate surveillance.

A Glimpse into Corporate Espionage

Imagine sitting in a piss-drenched doorway, pretending to be homeless, just to “eyeball” a target across the street. One moment you’re incognito, the next you’re suited up, tailing someone through the City and “ripping” their phone—a polite euphemism for illegally downloading its contents. This isn’t a spy movie; it’s just another day in the life of a private investigator. read more

WTF Shell? The Oil Giant’s Twisted Tango with Nigeria

Dec 20th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 20 Dec 2024

Once again, Shell, the paragon of corporate ruthlessness and environmental degradation, proves there’s no mess too big to sweep under a rug made of oil-stained dollar bills. The Anglo-Dutch juggernaut, whose rap sheet includes everything from massive spills to good old-fashioned espionage through shadowy outfits like Hakluyt & Co., has pulled off another jaw-dropping manoeuvre in Nigeria.

Here’s the skinny: Shell just tied a shiny $5 billion investment in Nigeria’s offshore Bonga North project to the government greenlighting their exit from onshore oil operations in the Niger Delta—a region they’ve poisoned for decades. Bravo, Shell! Nothing screams corporate responsibility like strong-arming a country desperate for foreign investment. read more

Shell Uses AI to Save the Planet (While Continuing to Destroy It): A Masterclass in Hypocrisy

Dec 20th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 20 Dec 2024

Step right up, folks, and witness the miraculous transformation of Shell Plc—the fossil fuel giant with a century-long legacy of plundering the planet—into a self-proclaimed champion of clean energy and AI innovation. Yes, Shell, the company that has spilt more oil than most countries produce, now wants you to believe it’s harnessing artificial intelligence to save the world. What’s next? Big Tobacco solving lung cancer?

According to Shell’s VP of Digital Innovation, Dan Jeavons, “AI is not a silver bullet, but it is a tool that can help us accelerate energy transition and reduce CO2 emissions.” Oh, Dan, how quaint. Shell has spent decades perfecting the art of PR spin, and this is a gem: “reduce CO2 emissions” from the company that’s one of the largest carbon polluters on the planet. Bravo. read more

Shell Dumps $2.4 Billion Nigerian Assets, Doubles Down on Deepwater Destruction

Dec 19th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 19 Dec 2024

Well, isn’t this just rich. Shell Plc, the oily overlord of environmental devastation, has finally managed to offload $2.4 billion worth of Nigerian assets to Renaissance Group, after being given the go-ahead by Nigeria’s oil minister. You know, the same oil minister who, just two months ago, hit the brakes on Shell’s attempt to bail on its onshore and shallow-water operations in the Niger Delta. But apparently, a couple of months—and maybe a few “persuasive” conversations—were all it took for Shell to get the approval it needed. read more

Shell: Because One Billion Barrels of Nigerian Oil Just Wasn’t Enough

Dec 17th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 17 Dec 2024

Ah, Shell. The gift that keeps on giving… to its shareholders, at least. The planet? Local communities? Nigeria’s long-suffering environment? Oh, they’ll just have to suck it up—quite literally—because Shell’s back at it again with its shiny new toy: the Bonga North Oil Project.

That’s right, folks. Shell Nigeria Exploration and Production Co. Ltd. (SNEPCo)—Shell’s lovingly ruthless Nigerian arm—has given the go-ahead to drill, baby, drill in deep waters off Nigeria’s coast. Because when you’ve already sucked one billion barrels of oil out of a single deepwater field, you naturally look around and think, “What’s next? More barrels, obviously.” read more

WTF Shell? Pennsylvania Sacrificed on the Altar of Plastic Profits

Dec 13th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 13 Dec 2024

Welcome to Monaca, Pennsylvania, where Shell has transformed an idyllic community into a 386-acre homage to pollution, hypocrisy, and “economic revitalization.” Step right up, folks, and marvel at the Shell Pennsylvania Petrochemicals Complex—a modern-day marvel that takes fracked gas, cracks it, and pumps out plastic pellets and pollution like it’s 2023’s hottest trend. Because who needs breathable air or drinkable water when you can have millions of tons of plastic?

Let’s meet Nadine Luci, a local resident turned involuntary test subject for Shell’s experiment in corporate gaslighting. She lives just two miles from the facility but practically needs a hazmat suit to step outside. “I have to live in a cocoon,” says Nadine, as she surveys the syrupy stench of corporate greed wafting through her town. Her tap water smells like dead fish, but it’s okay, because Shell generously provides… scholarships? Basketball courts? It’s like offering Band-Aids at a massacre. read more

Shell Investor Day Promises to Double Down on Disaster

Dec 12th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 12 Dec 2024

Hold onto your wallets (and your lungs), because Shell—yes, that Shell, the oil-stained paragon of planetary indifference—is hosting an investor day in March. This move, helmed by their ever-diligent CEO Wael Sawan, promises to unleash a dazzling spectacle of cost cuts, greenwashing, and a strategic U-turn toward pumping more oil and gas. Because if the world is burning, Shell figures it might as well fan the flames with some premium-grade crude.

“Sprint” Toward Disaster read more

Greedy Oil Giant Shell Settles Greenpeace Lawsuit

Dec 10th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 10 Dec 2024

Oh, Shell. The darling of sin stocks, the poster child for ruthless profiteering, environmental destruction, and apparently, public intimidation. In a move that screams look at us pretending to care, Shell has settled its $2.1 million lawsuit against Greenpeace. The crime? Greenpeace activists dared to peacefully board one of Shell’s oil rigs last year to protest its relentless climate destruction.

For all its legal muscle, Shell walked away with no damages. Not a dime. Instead, Greenpeace agreed to donate £300,000 to the Royal National Lifeboat Institution (RNLI)—a charity that actually saves lives, unlike Shell, which is busy plundering and destroying the planet. read more

Shell: UK Court of Appeal Forces Oil Giant to Stop Hiding Behind Legal Acrobatics

Dec 10th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 10 Dec 2024

Ah, Shell, the epitome of corporate virtue—if your definition of virtue involves destroying ecosystems, ruining livelihoods, and spending decades dodging responsibility like a teenager avoiding chores. In a deliciously overdue smackdown, the UK Court of Appeal just cleared the way for a 2025 trial to address the environmental apocalypse Shell has allegedly unleashed on two Nigerian communities. Shocking no one, Shell has spent the last ten years throwing every legal tantrum imaginable to avoid accountability. But now? Their legal gymnastics may finally run out of steam. read more

Shell Dodges Climate Accountability Again

Dec 7th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 24

In the latest jaw-dropping display of corporate dominance, the fossil fuel behemoth managed to wiggle out of a Dutch court ruling that once dared—dared!—to ask the company to clean up a fraction of its catastrophic mess. The court’s demand? A 45% reduction in emissions by 2030. Shell’s response? “Nah, we’ll pass, thanks.” And now, thanks to a Hague appeals court overturning that pesky ruling, they can keep on keeping on. Cue the applause from major shareholders like BlackRock, because who needs a livable planet when profits are this juicy? read more

WTF, Shell? From Saving the Planet to Saving Their Wallets

Dec 6th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 6 Dec 2024

In the latest episode of Corporate Malfeasance: Climate Edition, Shell—everyone’s favorite destroyer of worlds—is backing away from offshore wind investments because, well, it’s just not profitable enough for their bottomless greed. CEO Wael Sawan, apparently inspired by Scrooge McDuck, has decided that low-carbon energy isn’t where the money is. Oil, gas, and biofuels? Jackpot! Saving the planet? Meh, let someone else take the loss.

Splitting Shell Energy: Two Units, Zero Morals read more

Shell and Equinor: Merging to Squeeze Every Last Drop from the Dying North Sea

Dec 5th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 5 Dec 2024

Ah, the North Sea—once a beacon of oil-soaked riches, now a rapidly dwindling fossil fuel graveyard. But don’t worry, Shell and Equinor are here to “boost profitability” by forming the biggest independent oil producer in the region, because clearly, what the world desperately needs right now is more oil.

This unholy matrimony between Shell (aka the corporate embodiment of pollution) and Equinor (Norway’s answer to Big Oil hypocrisy) promises to squeeze out a hefty 200,000–220,000 barrels of oil equivalent per day by 2025. That’s up from 140,000 today because, obviously, the planet’s warming isn’t going fast enough. Shell and Equinor will split ownership 50-50, which feels just right for this joint venture into environmental destruction. read more

WTF Shell? The Oil Giant’s New Motto: Screw the Planet, Show Me the Money

Dec 5th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 5 Dec 2024

In a breathtaking display of corporate greed dressed up as “strategic review,” Shell—the world’s favourite villain in the game of Destroy the Planet for Profit—has decided it’s no longer interested in leading the transition to clean energy. Why? Because it turns out offshore wind doesn’t print money fast enough for CEO Wael Sawan, whose vision for the future seems to be a fossil-fueled inferno of record profits.

Let’s break this down. Shell, once pretending to dabble in saving the planet with its renewable energy division, is now gutting it for parts. Shell Energy—the division responsible for renewables, power generation, and supply—is being hacked into two Frankenstein-like units: power generation and trading. Because, hey, why bother with innovation when you can shuffle papers and call it a strategy? read more

Sir John Jennings, former Chairman of Shell Transport and Trading Company

Dec 4th, 2024

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Sir John Jennings, former Chairman of Shell Transport and Trading Company, is remembered as an influential leader during some of the most turbulent periods in Shell’s history. Jennings, who passed away at 87, played a critical role in navigating the multinational through external crises and controversies, earning a reputation for both strategic acumen and a uniquely human approach to corporate leadership.

A Steady Leader Amid Turmoil

Jennings took the helm of Shell Transport and Trading in 1993, overseeing critical operations in the North Sea and Nigeria during a period marked by significant environmental and human rights challenges. Two defining moments of his tenure included:

•The Brent Spar Disposal Controversy (1995): Greenpeace’s opposition to Shell’s plan to dispose of the Brent Spar oil storage buoy in the Atlantic Ocean forced a public relations battle. Although Shell eventually abandoned the disposal plan, the episode marked a turning point in corporate environmental accountability. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

December, 2024:

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