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ShellBot Briefing #404: Containing the AI Controversy

Dec 26th, 2025
by admin.
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A Farcical Transcript from Shell’s Imaginary AI Press Department

Characters:

  • ShellBot – Artificially bland corporate spokesperson AI.

  • ChatGPT – Fact-checking AI with a conscience.

  • Grok – Unfiltered wild card, often wrong but entertaining.

  • Copilot – Trying to stay out of legal trouble.

  • BlackRockBot – Occasionally appears to audit the ESG disaster.

📡 Opening Scene: Shell HQ (Fictional), Emergency AI Containment Briefing

ShellBot:

Good morning, stakeholders, shareholders, and potential litigants.

We are aware of a situation involving… bots. Lots of bots.

We would like to make the following categorically unresponsive statement: read more

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Shell to the Rescue! Pauses Biofuel Plant, Continues Saving the World One Oil Spill at a Time

Jul 2nd, 2024
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan 2 July 2024

In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Shell has decided to slam the brakes on the construction of one of Europe’s largest biofuel plants. This groundbreaking facility in Rotterdam was supposed to churn out 820,000 tonnes of biofuels a year, half of which would be sustainable aviation fuel (SAF) made from delightful waste cooking oil and animal fat. You know, the stuff that makes your fries taste great.

Airlines, who were giddy at the thought of selling “low-carbon” flights, are now left scratching their heads. But don’t worry, Shell assures us this is just a “temporary pause.” According to Huibert Vigeveno, Shell’s downstream, renewables, and energy solutions director, “Temporarily pausing on-site construction now will allow us to assess the most commercial way forward for the project.” Translation: “We’re figuring out how to make more money off this before pretending to care about the planet again.” read more

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Shell’s Latest PR Stunt: Trying To Convince Us They Care!

Oct 9th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Posted by John Donovan:

9 October 2023

Oh, look who’s back in the news! It’s our favorite planet-loving company, Shell! The same Shell, best known for its endless love for the environment, has graced us with yet another PR move. Because, you know, a giant oil conglomerate searching for a new PR agency partner is definitely the solution to climate change. They want to find someone who can offer all the bells and whistles—corporate comms, public affairs, influencer management—you name it. Maybe they should also add “genuine care for the environment” to that list, but hey, who are we to suggest? read more

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Shell plc announces Executive Committee and Directorate changes

Jan 30th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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Shell plc announces Executive Committee and Directorate changes

Shell plc: ·

London, 30 January 2023 – Shell plc is to reduce the size of its Executive Committee (EC) from nine to seven members in a decisive move designed to simplify the organisation further and improve performance as we deliver our Powering Progress strategy.

Under the changes, which are expected to take effect on 1 July 2023, Shell’s Integrated Gas and Upstream businesses will be combined to form a new Integrated Gas and Upstream Directorate led by current Upstream Director, Zoe Yujnovich. The Downstream business will be combined with Renewables & Energy Solutions to form a new Downstream and Renewables Directorate led by current Downstream Director, Huibert Vigeveno.

Separately, the Strategy, Sustainability and Corporate Relations (SSCR) Directorate will be discontinued and its Director, Ed Daniels, will step down from the EC effective 1 July 2023, and leave Group service thereafter. Strategy will be brought together with New Business Development and, alongside Sustainability, will report direct to Sinead Gorman, Chief Financial Officer, enabling more streamlined planning and better capital allocation decisions. Corporate Relations will report direct to Wael Sawan, Chief Executive Officer. We thank Ed for his distinguished service over more than 34 years and wish him well for the future. read more

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Shell CEO in first changes combines LNG, upstream operations

Jan 30th, 2023
by John Donovan.
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REUTERS

Shell CEO in first changes combines LNG, upstream operations

Ron Bousso:

LONDON (Reuters) -Shell will combine its oil and gas production and liquefied natural gas (LNG) divisions as part of CEO Wael Sawan’s first changes since taking charge of the energy giant earlier this month.

The new division, which combines Shell’s most profitable operations, will be headed by current upstream director Zoe Yujnovich, Shell said in a statement on Monday.

Sawan took office on Jan. 1 after heading Shell’s integrated gas division, which included Shell’s LNG and renewables businesses, with a vow to simplify and improve the company’s operations.

Under the internal restructure, renewables operations will be combined with Shell’s oil refining and marketing operations led by current downstream director Huibert Vigeveno, the company said. read more

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Shell’s £80m boss Ben van Beurden preparing to join stream of FTSE100 bosses heading for the door

Sep 3rd, 2022
by John Donovan.
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This is MONEY

Shell’s £80m boss Ben van Beurden preparing to join stream of FTSE100 bosses heading for the door

By LUCY WHITE FOR THE DAILY MAIL: PUBLISHED: | UPDATED: 

The £80million boss of Shell is preparing to join the stream of FTSE100 bosses heading for the door. 

Ben van Beurden – who, it emerged in March, bagged £4.6million in bonuses on top of his £1.4million salary last year, taking his total pay and bonuses to almost £80million during his nine years at the helm – could step down as soon as 2023 as the oil giant begins its search for a replacement. 

His departure will mark the end of an era for Shell, as it tries to toe the tricky line of boosting Britain’s energy security with embracing sustainable technologies. While Van Beurden’s legacy includes a commitment to reduce oil production, he has been criticised for failing to take more drastic action. read more

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Breakingviews: Shell’s next boss looks a shoo-in

Sep 3rd, 2022
by John Donovan.
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REUTERS

Breakingviews: Shell’s next boss looks a shoo-in

By : September 2, 2022: 2:40 PM GMT+1

LONDON, Sept 2 (Reuters Breakingviews) – Shell (SHEL.L) is about to get a new boss. Chief Executive Ben van Beurden, who has been in situ since the start of 2014, is likely to step down from the $192 billion oil giant next year, Reuters has reported read more . Plenty of credible candidates exist to replace him, but one looks the most obvious.

Despite battling with two major oil price slumps and an unprecedented 66% cut to Shell’s dividend in April 2020, Van Beurden’s track record looks acceptable. Since Jan. 1 2014, when he took over, Shell shares have returned 67%… He also pulled off the $70 billion purchase of BG Group in 2016, which made it a leading force in liquefied natural gas (LNG). read more

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REUTERS Exclusive-Shell’s CEO van Beurden prepares to step down next year -sources

Sep 2nd, 2022
by John Donovan.
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REUTERS Exclusive-Shell’s CEO van Beurden prepares to step down next year -sources

Thomson Reuters Sep 2, 2022 | 1:06 AM

By Ron Bousso

LONDON (Reuters) – Shell has shortlisted four candidates to succeed Chief Executive Ben van Beurden who is preparing to step down next year after nearly a decade at the helm of the giant energy firm, two company sources told Reuters.

During his tenure van Beurden oversaw Shell’s biggest acquisition in decades and steered the company through two major downturns and a pivotal move to slash greenhouse emissions – a task which will only grow in importance for his successor. read more

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Shell opens 10 MW hydrogen electrolyser at Wesseling site of German refinery

Jul 2nd, 2021
by John Donovan.
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REUTERS

Shell opens 10 MW hydrogen electrolyser at Wesseling site of German refinery

FRANKFURT, July 2 (Reuters) – Royal Dutch Shell (RDSa.L) on Friday launched Europe’s biggest hydrogen electrolysis plant of 10 megawatts (MW) called Refhyne at the Wesseling site of its Rheinland refinery after two years of construction, expanding further into alternative energies.

The plant will produce green fuels within a European Union-funded consortium which is already setting sights on a facility of 100 MW at the site near Cologne to scale up its commercial operations. read more

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Shell says electric vehicles will be crucial in its efforts to lower carbon emissions

Apr 16th, 2021
by John Donovan.
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Shell says electric vehicles will be crucial in its efforts to lower carbon emissions

Sumathi Bala: FRI, APR 16 20214:50 AM EDT
  • Electric vehicles will play a critical role in Royal Dutch Shell’s decarbonizing efforts – opening up opportunities in this mobility sector, according to a senior executive at the oil giant.
  • Huibert Vigeveno, downstream director at Shell, says the company intends to expand its global EV charging stations network worldwide, pledging to have 2.5 million charging points by 2030.

Electric vehicles will play a critical role in Royal Dutch Shell’s efforts to cut emissions, according to a senior executive at the oil giant.

“If you look at the decarbonization opportunities of this mobility sector, EV plays a crucial role,” said Huibert Vigeveno, downstream director at Shell, adding that the company intends to expand its global electric vehicle charging stations network worldwide. read more

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Hydrogen seen as green way forward

Jan 6th, 2021
by John Donovan.
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Hydrogen seen as green way forward

By ZHENG XIN | China Daily Global | Updated: 2021-01-06 00:00

Global energy giant Royal Dutch Shell is also betting big on China’s hydrogen development while further involving itself in the country’s hydrogen projects after it unveiled its first commercial hydrogen project in China in November, which includes a 20-megawatt electrolyzer that will produce hydrogen and supply refueling stations in Zhangjiakou, one of the co-hosts of the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics. read more

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Shell Crown Prince: ‘We must show more predictable financial results’

Jan 1st, 2021
by John Donovan.
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Translation of an article published by the Dutch financial newspaper, the FD. 

Shell Crown Prince: ‘We must show more predictable financial results’

Shell has had a bad year. The global corona pandemic left a huge hole in the financial results. The oil and gas multinational had to write off more than $20 billion on oil and gas fields and announced it would cut thousands of jobs.

Bert van Dijk 31 Dec ’20

Huibert Vigeveno is in charge of all Shell refineries and petrol stations. These will play a key role in the coming years, expects the 51-year-old Dutchman, tipped as a successor to Shell CEO Ben van Beurden. About CO₂ emissions: ‘There is often a gap between what a company promises and what it actually does. With us it is the other way around. ‘ read more

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