Environment

claude.ai: PART 6 — WHAT THEY KNEW, AND WHEN THEY KNEW IT: SHELL, CLIMATE SCIENCE, AND THE LONGEST GAME

Mar 24th, 2026

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A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

By Our Special Correspondent, Department of Satirical Prophecy Published: March 2026

DISCLAIMER: The following is Part Six of a satirical commentary based entirely on documented matters of public record: Shell’s own internal documents, declassified corporate reports, Dutch court judgments, European Court of Human Rights jurisprudence, the findings of investigative journalists at De Correspondent, Inside Climate News, DeSmog, and Follow The Money, and the proceedings of the Milieudefensie litigation, which is currently en route to the Dutch Supreme Court and shows no signs of tiring. The crystal ball has been following this case since before the first hearing. The crystal ball has opinions. read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

claude.ai: PART 5 — THE LITIGATION LIBRARY: OR, HOW TO BUILD A LEGAL DEPARTMENT LARGE ENOUGH TO HAVE ITS OWN POSTCODE

Mar 24th, 2026

by John Donovan.

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A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

By Our Special Correspondent, Department of Satirical Prophecy Published: March 2026

DISCLAIMER: The following is Part Five of a satirical commentary based on matters of documented public record: court decisions, regulatory enforcement actions, US Securities and Exchange Commission orders, Environmental Protection Agency notices, UK Health and Safety Executive improvement and prohibition notices, EU Competition Commission rulings, Brazilian court judgments, and a great many press releases from organisations whose job it is to fine Royal Dutch Shell. Every single item referenced herein is sourced. The crystal ball does not fabricate. It does not need to. read more

claude.ai: PART 3 — THE WORLD’S MOST HATED BRAND: A GUIDED TOUR OF THE WIKIPEDIA MEMORY HOLE

Mar 24th, 2026

by John Donovan.

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A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

By Our Special Correspondent, Department of Satirical Prophecy Published: March 2026

DISCLAIMER: The following is Part Three of a satirical commentary based entirely on the published ebook “Toxic Facts About Shell Removed From Wikipedia” by John Donovan, available on Amazon, the contents of which — by the author’s own account, and notably without contradiction from Shell — have never been legally challenged by Royal Dutch Shell or any of its subsidiaries, affiliates, successors, legal representatives, or the forty-odd people on that round table. The crystal ball has been updated. It now runs on renewable energy, which is more than can be said for certain subjects of this investigation. read more

claude.ai Part 2: SHELL’S SECRET WAR ON ONE MAN IN COLCHESTER

Mar 23rd, 2026

by John Donovan.

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PART TWO: THE MACHINES HAVE NOTICED

A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

By Our Special Correspondent, Department of Satirical Prophecy Published: March 2026

DISCLAIMER: The following article is Part Two of a satirical commentary based on real events, documented facts, and the output of multiple AI systems that have now, apparently, also noticed the Donovan-Shell situation. The crystal ball has been recharged. Its batteries were, appropriately, made in the Netherlands.

PART FIVE: THE ROBOTS HAVE READ THE FILE

When Part One of this investigation was published, it seemed reasonable to assume that Shell’s primary reputational challenge in 2026 remained what it has always been: one retired gentleman in Colchester, Essex, with a laptop, a broadband connection, and what Shell’s own internal documents once described, with heroic understatement, as “a longstanding disagreement with Shell.” read more

claude.ai: SHELL’S SECRET WAR ON ONE MAN IN COLCHESTER: A CRYSTAL BALL SPECIAL INVESTIGATION

Mar 23rd, 2026

by John Donovan.

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Part 1: claude.ai: SHELL’S SECRET WAR ON ONE MAN IN COLCHESTER: A CRYSTAL BALL SPECIAL INVESTIGATION

…a global internal surveillance operation triggered by one website

## *How Britain’s Most Surveilled Retired Gentleman May Still Be Keeping a $200 Billion Corporation Very, Very Busy*

*By Our Special Correspondent, Department of Satirical Prophecy*
*Published: March 2026*

—

> *DISCLAIMER: The following article is satirical commentary based on real internal Shell documents obtained under the UK Data Protection Act and published on shellnews.net. It extrapolates — with liberal use of imagination, irony, and a functioning crystal ball — what Shell plc may be doing now and in the future. Any resemblance to actual ongoing covert corporate operations against a retired gentleman in Colchester is entirely the reader’s problem to ponder.* read more

Shell’s Crown Jewel Hit: Pearl GTL Damage Exposes Fragility of Global Energy System

Mar 21st, 2026

by admin.

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ChatGPT: A blazing industrial complex at Ras Laffan under a night sky lit by missile trails, with a cracked Shell logo hovering over the Pearl GTL plant as pipelines leak glowing liquid fuel into the desert

By John Donovan

The Strike That Hit the Heart of Shell’s Empire

Shell’s flagship Pearl Gas-to-Liquids (GTL) project in Qatar—long marketed as a technological triumph and cash-generating “crown jewel”—has suffered significant damage following Iranian missile strikes on the Ras Laffan Industrial City.

The attack, part of a wider escalation in Middle East conflict, struck one of the most strategically important energy hubs in the world, triggering fires and halting production at facilities critical to global fuel supply. read more

Shell’s South Africa Exit: Selling Petrol Stations — But Not Its Toxic Past

Mar 17th, 2026

by admin.

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“Exit Without Closure”: A Shell petrol station being dismantled, with workers removing the logo. Behind it, a faded apartheid-era scene emerges — police lines, protest signs, and oil barrels stamped with the Shell logo. A corporate executive walks away carrying a briefcase labelled “Divestment Strategy”, while the past lingers in the background. Tone: sombre, satirical, historically reflective.

Shell is once again preparing to exit South Africa’s fuel retail market, dusting off a plan that has been circulating for years — and quietly moving to offload a network of petrol stations that once symbolised its deep roots in the country. read more

Shell’s LNG Boom Forecast: 54% More Gas, 100% More Contradictions

Mar 17th, 2026

by admin.

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A massive LNG tanker labelled “Energy Transition” crossing a bridge made of pipelines. The bridge stretches endlessly into the horizon, never reaching land. Below, rising sea levels and melting icebergs. Shell executives stand on deck pointing forward, while climate scientists look concerned in the water below.

Shell has delivered its latest vision of the future — and, surprise, it looks remarkably like the past, just chilled to minus 162°C.

According to its newest outlook, global demand for liquefied natural gas (LNG) is expected to rise by at least 54% by 2040, reinforcing the company’s long-standing belief that the world simply cannot quit fossil fuels — even as it promises to do exactly that. read more

Shell’s Groningen Hangover: Dutch State and NAM Clash Over a €789 Million Earthquake Bill

Mar 17th, 2026

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If you ever needed a case study in how fossil fuel profits can turn into long-term liabilities, look no further than Groningen — where the bill for decades of gas extraction has finally landed… and nobody wants to pay it.

This week, the Dutch state and Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij (NAM) — the Shell-Exxon joint venture that once turned Groningen into Europe’s gas powerhouse — faced off in court over who should cover hundreds of millions of euros in earthquake damage compensation.

The sum in dispute? A modest €789 million. Pocket change for an oil major — until it isn’t. read more

Shell Eyes Venezuela’s Oil Jackpot: Climate Promises Take Another Holiday

Mar 15th, 2026

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Just when you thought the world’s biggest oil companies might slow down their hunt for new fossil-fuel frontiers, along comes Venezuela — the planet’s largest untapped oil treasure chest — and suddenly climate pledges look suspiciously like optional extras.

According to fresh reports, Chevron and Shell are moving closer to major oil and gas agreements in Venezuela, marking the first large-scale deals since the country’s political upheaval and reopening of its energy sector to foreign investment. read more

The Shell Annual Report: A Satirical Reading

Mar 14th, 2026

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The Shell Annual Report – A Satirical Reading

Each year Shell publishes an Annual Report running to hundreds of pages.

The document explains the company’s strategy, outlines risks, describes governance structures and sets out how the global energy transition will be navigated — preferably in a manner that remains compatible with strong shareholder returns.

Like most corporate reports, it contains a remarkable quantity of carefully crafted language designed to sound both confident and reassuring. read more

Shell Annual Report: Forward-Looking Statements: Everything We Just Said May Be Wrong

Mar 14th, 2026

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No annual report would be complete without a section known as the Forward-Looking Statements disclaimer.

This is the part where, after several hundred pages confidently explaining strategy, performance and long-term plans, the company gently reminds readers that none of those statements should be interpreted as a guarantee that anything described will actually happen.

Shell’s Annual Report contains the usual carefully crafted legal language explaining that certain statements within the document relate to future expectations, projections and strategic ambitions. read more

Energy Transition Strategy: The Transition That Must Not Affect Quarterly Earnings

Mar 14th, 2026

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A central theme running through Shell’s Annual Report is the company’s strategy for navigating the global energy transition.

This transition is widely recognised as one of the most significant economic and technological shifts of the 21st century.

For companies whose historical success has been closely tied to oil and gas, it also presents the delicate challenge of transforming the energy system while continuing to generate the profits that shareholders have become accustomed to.

Shell describes its approach as a “balanced and pragmatic pathway.” read more

Risk Factors: A Helpful Guide to Everything That Might Go Wrong (Except the Business Model)

Mar 14th, 2026

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Every major corporate annual report contains a section known as “Risk Factors.”

This is where the company carefully explains the many things that could theoretically threaten its business, ranging from geopolitical instability to meteor strikes, while delicately avoiding any suggestion that the core business model itself might be one of those risks.

Shell’s Annual Report is no exception.

Running through many pages of legal language and corporate understatement, the section outlines the numerous hazards that could potentially affect one of the world’s largest energy companies. read more

The CEO Review: Delivering the Energy Transition Without Affecting Quarterly Earnings

Mar 14th, 2026

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Following the Chairman’s reassuring reflections on another year of strategic clarity through ambiguity, the Shell Annual Report moves naturally to the CEO’s review.

This section traditionally celebrates operational performance, outlines strategic progress and explains how the company is simultaneously transforming the energy system while continuing to generate extremely healthy profits from the existing one.

Dear Shareholders,

2025 was another year in which Shell demonstrated its unique ability to lead the global energy transition while continuing to produce large quantities of the energy that has not yet transitioned. read more

The Chairman’s Statement: Strategic Clarity Through Carefully Managed Ambiguity

Mar 14th, 2026

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Part of our ongoing satirical reading of the Shell Annual Report — so you don’t have to. Strategic clarity achieved through the careful arrangement of reassuring phrases

Another year, another Shell annual report.

For the uninitiated, the Chairman’s Statement is the part of the report where the company reflects on global events, celebrates strategic achievements and reassures investors that everything is proceeding according to plan — even when the plan appears to change every year.

Dear Shareholders,

The past year has been one of continued complexity.

Geopolitical tensions persisted, energy markets remained volatile, and the global energy transition continued to develop in ways that are both urgent and extremely inconvenient for companies whose profits depend on hydrocarbons. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

Environment

A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

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A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

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A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

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PART TWO: THE MACHINES HAVE NOTICED

A Crystal Ball Special Investigation, Continued

PART FIVE: THE ROBOTS HAVE READ THE FILE

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Part 1: claude.ai: SHELL’S SECRET WAR ON ONE MAN IN COLCHESTER: A CRYSTAL BALL SPECIAL INVESTIGATION

…a global internal surveillance operation triggered by one website

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The Strike That Hit the Heart of Shell’s Empire

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Part of our ongoing satirical reading of the Shell Annual Report — so you don’t have to. Strategic clarity achieved through the careful arrangement of reassuring phrases

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