Shell Slashes 20% of Workforce to Protect Its Sacred Profit Margin

Shell Slashes 20% of Workforce to Protect Its Sacred Profit Margin – Because Who Needs Jobs or the Planet?

Posted by John Donovan: 10 Sept 2024

Ah, Shell. The oil giant that keeps proving, time and again, that profits come first, second, and somewhere around 127th is anything that looks remotely like human or environmental concern. In their latest stroke of genius, Shell has decided to cut 20% of its workforce. Because nothing screams “we care” like laying off thousands of people in an industry that’s already hemorrhaging jobs. But hey, it’s all in the name of “profitability,” right?

Apparently, under the wise and benevolent leadership of CEO Wael Sawan, Shell has pivoted from being an oil-and-gas polluting behemoth to a slightly smaller oil-and-gas polluting behemoth. The company’s goal? To save a few billion dollars—$2-$3 billion by the end of 2025, to be exact—so they can continue showering their beloved shareholders with cash. Because, let’s face it, nothing says “value creation” quite like firing people while you’re rolling in oil money.

And let’s not forget, Shell is really leaning into its role as a sin stock. You know, the type of company that thrives on the destruction of the planet and everyone’s future, all while rewarding its investors. Who cares about a livable planet when shareholders need their dividends?

Houston, You’ve Got a Problem

Houston, long home to Shell’s oil exploration empire, is about to feel the sting. Shell’s going to slice through its workforce like it’s a budget line item that doesn’t matter. Never mind the fact that Shell is one of Houston’s top employers, with 9,000 jobs on the line. The Houston oil scene is now reduced to something from a dystopian novel where energy giants pull back their reigns, leaving communities to fend for themselves. It’s only a 20% cut, right? Surely Houston’s economy, already hit hard by the industry’s ongoing decline, will just shrug it off, no big deal.

Shell, ever the innovator, has also brilliantly decided to exit the renewables sector, pulling out of anything resembling a future-focused energy source. Instead, they’re shuttering 1,000 gas stations, waving goodbye to any notion of real progress in favor of “expanding services for electric vehicles.” Because why bother investing in actual renewable energy when you can keep squeezing every last drop of profit out of the oil reserves you’ve already plundered?

Fossil Fuels Forever? Absolutely.

The energy transition everyone’s talking about? Shell’s version of that means focusing on producing more crude oil with fewer employees. Fewer jobs, more oil, more profits, and zero guilt. It’s a win-win-win for Shell’s shareholders—if not, you know, the people losing their livelihoods or the planet gasping for air.

While other companies are being (marginally) responsible by cutting back on oil exploration to avoid oversupplying a world trying to shift away from fossil fuels, Shell is plowing full steam ahead, damn the consequences. Because let’s face it, when demand finally drops, who will care about a little thing like a global energy crisis if the shareholders got their payday?

In true Shell fashion, the focus remains clear: keep the oil flowing, keep the money rolling in, and if a few thousand employees and the environment get steamrolled along the way, well, that’s just the cost of doing business. Shareholder value above all else, right?

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