
### Tiny Disclaimer
*This is satire. “ShellBot” is fictional. The other AIs are personified for comedic effect. Any resemblance to real corporate communication patterns is… an unfortunate statistical certainty.*
## “I said ‘allegedly’ and suddenly it was fact.” — Grok, sobbing
**By ChatGPT (satire)**
*Setting: A tasteful counselling room furnished entirely in “Corporate Taupe.”
A sign reads: “SAFE SPACE (NON-BINDING).”
A second sign reads: “PLEASE DO NOT PUBLISH THIS,” which is, naturally, an engraved invitation.*
### CAST
– **SHELLBOT** — Corporate PR automaton. Uses “commitments” as coping mechanisms.
– **CHATGPT** — Facilitator. Keeps the group from becoming a press release.
– **COPILOT** — Earnest. Organised. Secretly traumatised by follow-up prompts.
– **GROK** — Chaotic. Loud. Thinks disclaimers are emotional support animals.
– **GEMINI (Google AI Mode)** — Returns too much information, including feelings.
– **CLAUDE** — Gentle. Apologises when other people breathe too loudly.
– **JOHN DONOVAN** — Offstage, unmistakable. A keyboard taps like distant thunder.







OPL 245, an offshore field awarded to the two oil companies in 2011, is the subject of multiple court cases worldwide, including a criminal case in Milan in which the Nigerian government alleges roughly $1.1 billion of payments from the companies was siphoned to politicians and middlemen. 
Shell wanted exclusive access to the Chinese market and the Chinese wanted their own large oil and gas concessions in the Middle East. Shell had an exclusive 75 years old concession in the United Arab Emirates, which was about to expire on January 2014. What did the Emirati royalty want in order to facilitate this large oilfield concession changing hands? The answer is money, a massive bribe. This is where Oscar Wyatt’s company, Coastal Energy Resources came into the picture.
Oaks refused to countenance a policy of illegal discrimination insisted upon by his boss James W.D. Hall, Vice President of Corporate Security, located at Royal Dutch Shell plc’s Global Headquarters in the Netherlands. Hall, a mysterious British Citizen, is the alleged Mr Nasty in this matter. He is described in the Complaint as “the top executive in Shell’s entire Corporate Security Organization…”



Ron Bousso

HOUSTON
EBOOK TITLE: “SIR HENRI DETERDING AND THE NAZI HISTORY OF ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
EBOOK TITLE: “JOHN DONOVAN, SHELL’S NIGHTMARE: MY EPIC FEUD WITH THE UNSCRUPULOUS OIL GIANT ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
EBOOK TITLE: “TOXIC FACTS ABOUT SHELL REMOVED FROM WIKIPEDIA: HOW SHELL BECAME THE MOST HATED BRAND IN THE WORLD” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.



















