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Shell and Exxon’s Gas Profits Shake Groningen—Literally

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Nothing Says “Sustainable Business” Like an Earthquake Every Few Months

It’s another day, another earthquake in Groningen, where decades of reckless gas extraction by Shell and ExxonMobil’s joint venture, NAM, have left the ground as unstable as their ethical standards. This time, a 2.2 magnitude quake hit the town of Usquert just after midnight, shaking homes, rattling windows, and waking residents with a hard, dull thud. Coincidentally, that’s also the sound of Shell executives ignoring accountability.

“Induced Earthquakes”: Just a Fancy Term for Corporate Destruction

The KNMI meteorological institute wasted no time in confirming what everyone already knew: this was an “induced earthquake,” meaning it wasn’t some random act of nature—it was a direct consequence of Shell and ExxonMobil sucking every last drop of gas from the earth, leaving behind a crumbling foundation. read more

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Shell Pensioners Sold Out to BlackRock

Feb 10th, 2025

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Shell Pensioners Sold Out to BlackRock: Because Who Needs Security When There’s Profit to Be Made?

Posted by John Donovan: 10 Feb 25

Ah, Dutch pensioners, you thought your hard-earned savings were safe? That your lifetime of work would guarantee a comfortable retirement? Well, think again! Thanks to a perfect storm of corporate greed, government meddling, and good old-fashioned financial manoeuvring, Shell’s pension fund has now been handed over to none other than BlackRock, the ultimate Wall Street money machine. What could possibly go wrong?

For decades, Shell’s Dutch pension fund, managed by Shell Asset Management Company (SAMCo), was run efficiently by a small, competent team of professionals—just 80 people handling billions with remarkable skill. But why let success stand in the way of change when there’s an opportunity to funnel pensioners’ money into the pockets of the world’s largest asset manager? read more

Oil Giant Shell Wins Appeal, Loses All Remaining Scraps of Moral Integrity

Feb 6th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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A Masterclass in Dodging Climate Accountability

Posted by John Donovan: 6 Feb 25

In an absolutely shocking turn of events (read: completely expected corporate fuckery), Shell has successfully weaseled its way out of a court-ordered mandate to cut its greenhouse gas emissions by 45% by 2030. Yes, you read that right—the Hague Court of Appeal just handed down a judgment on November 12, 2024, that reverses the original ruling, meaning Shell and its lovely band of polluters get to continue business as usual. Oh, and to rub salt into the wound, the claimants—led by Dutch environmental activist group Vereniging Milieudefensie—now have to pay Shell’s legal costs. Because why shouldn’t an oil behemoth worth hundreds of billions shake down environmentalists for cash? read more

Shell Dodges Climate Accountability Again

Dec 7th, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 24

In the latest jaw-dropping display of corporate dominance, the fossil fuel behemoth managed to wiggle out of a Dutch court ruling that once dared—dared!—to ask the company to clean up a fraction of its catastrophic mess. The court’s demand? A 45% reduction in emissions by 2030. Shell’s response? “Nah, we’ll pass, thanks.” And now, thanks to a Hague appeals court overturning that pesky ruling, they can keep on keeping on. Cue the applause from major shareholders like BlackRock, because who needs a livable planet when profits are this juicy? read more

Shell: The Courtroom Climate Circus Rolls On

Nov 29th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Shell: The Courtroom Climate Circus Rolls On – Now Featuring Half-Hearted Accountability and Smug Oil Barons

Well, well, well. Shell, the corporate titan of greenhouse gas glory, has scored a sort-of win in its ongoing climate case. The Dutch Court of Appeal recently ruled that the oil giant doesn’t have to cut its CO₂ emissions by 45% by 2030. Why? Because apparently, it’s too hard to impose such a “burden” on a company whose entire business model is drilling us toward planetary doom. Congratulations, Shell! You’ve temporarily dodged responsibility while the Earth keeps simmering. Pop champagne—or, in your case, crude oil. read more

Oil Giants Shell and Exxon Dump Groningen Like a Bad Date

Nov 16th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 16 November 2024

In yet another move that screams “corporate villainy,” Shell and its BFF ExxonMobil, under their joint venture NAM, have officially noped out of their responsibility to help Groningen recover from decades of destruction. You know, the region they gleefully exploited for gas, leaving behind a legacy of earthquakes, shattered homes, and residents who probably Google “how to stop tectonic betrayal” every other week.

The Dutch “Debt of Honour” They’d Rather Forget read more

Shell’s Moral Tightrope: Will They Finally Be Forced to Care About Climate Change?

Nov 10th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 10 Nov 2024

Shell, the “green” oil giant that really cares (just ask their PR team), is up for round two in a Dutch courtroom showdown with environmentalists. This Tuesday, Shell will hear whether its appeal against a 2021 ruling—one that dared to suggest they should cut CO2 emissions—will stick. This wasn’t just a minor inconvenience; the court ordered Shell to reduce its emissions by 45% by 2030. The nerve! Shell, once nestled in the Netherlands, seemed so rattled by this pesky accountability that they packed up and headed to the UK. read more

Shell’s Earthquake-Inducing Gas Field Shuts Down, and Now the Netherlands Is Crying About Productivity?

Oct 17th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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17 Oct 2024

Oh, poor Netherlands, it seems like shutting down a gas field that was literally causing earthquakes has finally caught up with them. Who could’ve seen this coming? Groningen, the gas field operated by the environmental saints at Shell and ExxonMobil (under the cutesy name NAM, because nothing says trust us like an acronym), was pumping gas and shaking houses for 60 years. But when the earthquakes got too hard to ignore, the Dutch government dared to prioritize people’s safety over profits. The nerve, right? read more

Shell and ExxonMobil Throw Tantrum Over Dutch Gas Field Closure

Oct 11th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Shell and ExxonMobil Throw Tantrum Over Dutch Gas Field Closure, Because Destroying Homes and Causing Earthquakes Just Isn’t Profitable Enough

In the latest episode of “Oil Giants Throw a Fit,” Shell and ExxonMobil, ever the champions of corporate compassion, are up in arms about—wait for it—the Dutch government having the audacity to shut down the gas field that’s been wrecking homes and sparking earthquakes. Yes, the Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij (NAM), the dynamic duo’s beloved 50/50 joint venture, is finally winding down after a humble 60 years of profiting from the Groningen gas field, the literal ground zero of Dutch seismic misery. And now, these poor multi-billion-dollar corporations are crying foul because they won’t be able to squeeze out every last drop of profit before their time is up. read more

Shell’s Possible North Sea Wind Farm Bailout: A Nightmare for Labour’s Green Dreams

Jul 26th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 26 July 2024

So, Shell might be bailing on its North Sea wind farm plans, and it’s a potential disaster for Labour’s shiny new energy ambitions. Yep, the oil behemoth that made over £22 billion in profit last year is apparently not too keen on sticking with two floating wind leases it grabbed from the ScotWind auction. If they decide to ditch these projects, it could send a clear message that Shell doesn’t think renewable energy is worth the trouble, despite all the greenwashing rhetoric. read more

Shell Offloads More Dirty Business: Tenaz Energy Buys Dutch Offshore Assets for $180 Million

Jul 18th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 18 July 2024

In a move that’s as surprising as rain in the Netherlands, Shell and ExxonMobil, the environmental knights in shining armor, have decided to pawn off their offshore assets in the Dutch North Sea to Canada’s Tenaz Energy. For the low, low price of €165 million ($180.33 million), Tenaz Energy gets to inherit all the shiny shares of NAM Offshore B.V., a joint venture that also involves the Dutch government.

NAM operates the infamous Groningen gas field in the Netherlands. But wait, there’s more! This sweetheart deal, expected to close by mid-2025, includes all of NAM’s offshore exploration and production businesses, the pipeline infrastructure, and the onshore processing facilities—just not the assets in the Ameland area. Apparently, even Shell has to hold onto something. read more

Shell to the Rescue! Pauses Biofuel Plant, Continues Saving the World One Oil Spill at a Time

Jul 2nd, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 2 July 2024

In a move that surprised absolutely no one, Shell has decided to slam the brakes on the construction of one of Europe’s largest biofuel plants. This groundbreaking facility in Rotterdam was supposed to churn out 820,000 tonnes of biofuels a year, half of which would be sustainable aviation fuel (SAF) made from delightful waste cooking oil and animal fat. You know, the stuff that makes your fries taste great.

Airlines, who were giddy at the thought of selling “low-carbon” flights, are now left scratching their heads. But don’t worry, Shell assures us this is just a “temporary pause.” According to Huibert Vigeveno, Shell’s downstream, renewables, and energy solutions director, “Temporarily pausing on-site construction now will allow us to assess the most commercial way forward for the project.” Translation: “We’re figuring out how to make more money off this before pretending to care about the planet again.” read more

Shell’s Historical Legacy: From Oil Tycoon to Nazi Collaborator!

May 4th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 4 May 2024

In a stunning historical revelation that could make even the most cynical among us raise an eyebrow, it turns out that Shell, the quintessential emblem of corporate greed and environmental apathy, once dabbled in a little side hustle: collaborating with Nazis. When you’re already in the business of ruthlessly exploiting resources, why not throw a bit of fascism into the mix?

As German forces strutted into Vienna on that fateful day in March 1938, Shell, ever the opportunist, saw the writing on the wall and decided to cosy up to the Nazi regime faster than you can say “blitzkrieg.” read more

Shell’s Shameful Nazi Past: Funding Adolf Hitler

May 1st, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 1 May 2024

We’re taking a trip down memory lane to the dark days of World War II. You know, back when Hitler was still rocking his signature mustache and the world was in a state of utter chaos. But guess who was lurking in the shadows. None other than our pals at Royal Dutch Shell.

Yep, turns out, while Hitler was busy turning Europe into his own personal playground, Shell was right there by his side, cheering him on like a proud parent at a Little League game. According to the annals of history, Shell’s big boss man, Sir Henri Deterding, was practically BFFs with ol’ Adolf himself. They even had cozy 4 day meeting at Berchtesgaden, where they presumably chatted about world domination over tea and biscuits. read more

Shell’s Desperate Dash to Ditch London: An Epic Solution to Their Share Woes?

Apr 21st, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 21 April 2024

In a move that screams “What the hell are we even doing anymore?”, Shell, the grand poobah of the London Stock Exchange, is flirting with the idea of dumping the UK for a shot at American glory. But will this desperate shuffle truly be the panacea for their valuation nightmares? Spoiler alert: probably not.

Former Shell bigwig Ben van Beurden seems to think so, eloquently describing London’s valuation of Shell as being on par with a discount bin at a dollar store. Current head honcho Wael Sawan chimes in, echoing the sentiment with all the finesse of a bull in a china shop, claiming they’ve got “a location that clearly seems to be undervalued” and they’re ready to roll the dice on “all options. All options.” read more

Dutch Senate Hits Snooze Button on Closing Groningen Gas Field

Apr 7th, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 7 April 2024

In a move that screams “procrastination at its finest,” the Dutch Senate has pushed back the vote on permanently shutting down the Groningen gas field, citing concerns over the country’s energy security. Because who needs timely decisions when you can kick the can down the road, right?

Originally slated for closure on October 1, 2023, and then extended to this October, the Groningen gas field was supposed to bid farewell to its gas-pumping days. But alas, the specter of earthquakes and energy insecurity looms large, prompting the government to consider keeping the field operational just in case winter throws a chilly tantrum. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

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Nothing Says “Sustainable Business” Like an Earthquake Every Few Months

“Induced Earthquakes”: Just a Fancy Term for Corporate Destruction

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Shell Pensioners Sold Out to BlackRock: Because Who Needs Security When There’s Profit to Be Made?

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A Masterclass in Dodging Climate Accountability

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Shell and ExxonMobil Throw Tantrum Over Dutch Gas Field Closure, Because Destroying Homes and Causing Earthquakes Just Isn’t Profitable Enough

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