
A satirical reading of the 2025 report, where billions flow, adjectives multiply, and reality occasionally peeks through the footnotes
Introduction: The World’s Most Expensive Bedtime Story
Every year, large corporations release a document that attempts to explain how they made vast sums of money while simultaneously saving the planet, empowering communities, and respecting nature.
Shell’s 2025 Annual Report is no exception. Running hundreds of pages, it is a masterpiece of corporate literature — a genre where verbs are optimistic, adjectives are plentiful, and inconvenient details tend to hide in footnotes.
At first glance, the report tells a reassuring story: strong shareholder returns, disciplined strategy, and progress on the energy transition. Look slightly closer and the narrative becomes more entertaining.















🤡 Unplanned Maintenance, Cyclones, and a Whole Lot of Fossil Fuel Fantasy
EBOOK TITLE: “SIR HENRI DETERDING AND THE NAZI HISTORY OF ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON
EBOOK TITLE: “JOHN DONOVAN, SHELL’S NIGHTMARE: MY EPIC FEUD WITH THE UNSCRUPULOUS OIL GIANT ROYAL DUTCH SHELL” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.
EBOOK TITLE: “TOXIC FACTS ABOUT SHELL REMOVED FROM WIKIPEDIA: HOW SHELL BECAME THE MOST HATED BRAND IN THE WORLD” – AVAILABLE ON AMAZON.



















