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Shell CEO Laments: “How Dare You Sue Us for Ruining the Planet!”

That’s right, folks—while the rest of the world is desperately trying to curb emissions, Shell is busy backpedaling on its promises faster than you can say “hypocrisy.”

Posted 24 March 2024 by John Donovan

In a jaw-dropping display of corporate entitlement, Frans Everts, the CEO of Shell Netherlands, took to the airwaves to bemoan the audacity of environmental organizations daring to sue companies like Shell. Because clearly, holding polluting behemoths accountable for their role in climate catastrophe is just plain unfair, right?

In a riveting performance on TV program WNL Op Zondag, Everts cried foul, claiming that climate lawsuits were nothing short of economic sabotage. “It does not solve the problems,” he lamented, conveniently forgetting that maybe—just maybe—stopping the relentless pollution might actually, you know, solve a few problems.

According to Everts, these lawsuits are forcing poor, innocent companies like Shell to shrink and take their jobs elsewhere. Because when your business model relies on destroying the planet, any attempt to rein you in is obviously a direct attack on the economy. Makes perfect sense, doesn’t it?

But wait, it gets even better! Everts had the gall to criticize a judge’s ruling that Shell must actually, you know, reduce its CO2 emissions more quickly. Shocking, right? How dare anyone suggest that a company responsible for untold environmental devastation should actually clean up its act?

And let’s not forget Everts’ bold claim that Shell is some sort of climate hero, pouring billions into renewable energies like offshore wind turbines and biofuel plants. Because nothing says “saving the planet” like raking in profits from renewable energy while continuing to pump out fossil fuels like there’s no tomorrow.

But don’t be fooled by Shell’s greenwashing tactics. Despite their flashy investments in renewables, the reality is that Shell has actually weakened its targets for reducing CO2 emissions. That’s right, folks—while the rest of the world is desperately trying to curb emissions, Shell is busy backpedaling on its promises faster than you can say “hypocrisy.”

So, here’s to Shell, the champion of corporate greed and environmental destruction, bravely fighting against those pesky climate lawsuits with all the integrity of a used car salesman. Because when it comes to prioritizing profits over the planet, Shell truly takes the cake.

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