Oh no, poor Shell only made $4.26 billion in profit last quarter—down nearly a third thanks to falling gas prices. Let’s all shed a carbon-neutral tear for Europe’s biggest fossil fuel polluter as it clutches its pearls and assures investors it’ll still shovel billions back into their pockets through buybacks. Because priorities.
Gas prices across Europe tumbled nearly 20% between April and June, helped along by a rare moment of geopolitical sanity—a ceasefire between Iran and Israel—and lower demand from China. The result? A sudden market correction that Shell calls “non-fundamentals-based volatility,” which is CEO Wael Sawan’s adorable way of saying, we didn’t see this shit coming.
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