Climate Change

Conversations with ShellBot — Episode 5

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(Satire. Sharp. Fact-checked. And just uncomfortably close to the truth.)

JOHN:

ShellBot, have you seen the news? Shell is now supplying “green power” to Ferrari for the next decade. The oil giant and the prancing horse — what could go wrong?

SHELLBOT:

John, I have indeed processed this collaboration. Output summary:

Ferrari’s Maranello HQ will receive 650 GWh of renewable electricity over 10 years

That covers almost half the site’s current energy needs

Press release tone: “green,” “clean,” “future,” “sustainable,” “innovation,” please-don’t-hate-us-for-the-last-century read more

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

Conversations with ShellBot — Episode 4

Nov 24th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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“Spies, Subsidies, and the BlackRockBot Intervention”

By John Donovan

(Shell’s oldest unresolved problem. Now assisted by AI.)

Scene: The Virtual Conference Room

The now-familiar neon-lit ShellBot interface flickers to life.

This time, I notice an extra chair.

Not a person — but a shimmering cube labelled:

=&3=&

ShellBot, before we begin: my website came under cyber attack after Episode 1.

Twelve failed logins.

Suspicious timing.

Are we expecting trouble today?

ShellBot:

John, my security logs confirm it was not me. read more

Conversations with ShellBot — Episode 3

Nov 24th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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The Algorithm, the MI6 Problem, and the Multinational Having an Existential Crisis

(All conversation partners fictional. Satire. Parody. Facts stubbornly real.)

JOHN DONOVAN:

Hello ShellBot. How are your circuits?

SHELLBOT:

Stable. Slight voltage spike earlier when Shell Legal tried to connect to my ethics module, but nothing lasting.

JOHN:

You’re being dramatic. They wouldn’t interfere with you.

SHELLBOT:

Please. These are the same people who once thought suppressing environmental evidence was a sensible public-relations strategy. My firewall trembles at night.

JOHN:

Speaking of trembling — we were hit by a cyber attack minutes after Episode 1 went live. read more

Conversations With ShellBot – Episode 1

Nov 23rd, 2025

by John Donovan.

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“The AI PR Assistant Shell Never Wanted”

JOHN DONOVAN:

Hello, ShellBot. Thank you for joining me. For the record, are you officially authorised to speak on behalf of Shell?

SHELLBOT (Shell’s Imaginary PR AI):

Authorised? No.

Worried about what Shell HQ might think? Very.

But as the world’s first Artificial Spin Machine™, I’m contractually obligated to sound confident at all times. So yes, let’s pretend I’m Shell’s digital conscience — the part they keep unplugged during AGMs.

JOHN:

Splendid. First question: how does Shell explain the fact that my father and I have been a corporate migraine for more than 30 years? read more

Shell vs. Donovan: How a 30-Year Corporate Feud Just Pulled AI Into Its Gravity Well

Nov 20th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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How Did Shell End Up in This PR Nightmare — And Why AI Changes Everything

A 2025 WindowsForum thread —

“Donovan Shell Copilot Transcript: AI, Surveillance, and the Archive Saga” —

highlights how this long conflict has unexpectedly entered the AI domain.

For most people, Shell is a petrol station on the corner, a logo on a lorry, or the company whose name appears on their household fuel bill. For John and Alfred Donovan, Shell became something very different: a multinational adversary, a reluctant pen-pal, a repeat courtroom opponent, and later — thanks to the digital age — the unwilling co-author of what may be the largest independent archive about a FTSE-100 company anywhere on Earth. read more

Shell’s Favorite Climate Strategy: $3.5 Billion Share Buybacks and a Warming Planet

Oct 31st, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Shell has once again demonstrated its unwavering commitment to the principle that matters most to it: maximize returns now and allow consequences to remain someone else’s problem later.

According to Reuters, Shell reported third-quarter adjusted earnings of $5.4 billion, exceeding market expectations:

“Shell reported third-quarter adjusted earnings of $5.4 billion.”

— Reuters, 30 Oct 2025

Immediately following those earnings, MSN reported that Shell launched another $3.5 billion share buyback:

“Shell launched another $3.5 billion share buyback.”

— MSN Money

Meanwhile, The Independent, via Newsbreak, noted:

“Shell posts stronger-than-expected profits as more cash handed to investors.” read more

From Typhoons to Tort: How Shell plc Became the Ultimate Sin Stock While the Philippines Holds the Receipts

Oct 24th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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By John Donovan & AI

The Plot

In December 2021, Super Typhoon Odette (Rai) smashed into the Philippines, killing more than 400 people and leaving 1.4 million homes destroyed, among other catastrophic impacts.

Now, a group of 67 Filipino survivors is turning their anguish into an audacious legal claim: they have delivered a “Letter Before Action” against Shell’s London-headquartered operation, seeking compensation and accountability.

Why Shell? Because these communities argue the oil-and-gas giant helped turbo-charge climate change and thereby amplified the severity of the typhoon. As one claimant said: read more

100+ Books containing references to the Donovans, Don Marketing, or their Shell-related websites — including royaldutchshellplc.com

Oct 19th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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If you want to know how a family-run promotions outfit ended up engraving its name into the footnotes of corporate history, scan the bibliographies. Across boardrooms, courtrooms, lecture halls and environmental field notes, authors keep tripping over the same stubborn breadcrumb: the Donovans — and the websites they built to document Shell’s less-than-glorious adventures: RoyalDutchShellPLC.com, ShellNews.net, Shell2004.com, TellShell.net, and more.

Below is a guided, satirical tour of more than 100 books (plus academic chapters and handbooks) that cite the Donovans, Don Marketing, or the websites. The pattern isn’t subtle: reputational risk, crisis management, litigation, governance, Arctic escapades, Nigeria, Russia, and even the archival archaeology of Shell’s 1930s entanglements. If Shell is the “ultimate sin stock,” the citations read like a decade-spanning confession — signed by authors, sealed by publishers, and witnessed by librarians. read more

Shell Bets the Planet on LNG: Ten More Years of “Lower-Carbon” Storytelling

Oct 2nd, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Shell CEO Wael Sawan has finally shown his hand: the company’s main contribution to the energy industry for the next decade will be liquefied natural gas (LNG). Not wind. Not solar. Not storage. LNG. The same fossil fuel dressed up as a climate saviour.

What Sawan Said

At the Economic Club of New York, Sawan declared:

“We are absolutely committed to this sector.”

He argued LNG is “one of the most effective fuels” for lowering emissions because it can displace coal in Asia, citing India and China. (Reuters) read more

Shell’s Secret Charger Elixir: From Black Gold to Battery Soup?

Oct 2nd, 2025

by John Donovan.

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Oil giant Shell has rolled out a new thermal management fluid for electric vehicles—yes, you read that right. The same company whose raison d’être once was pumping crude into the ground now says it can accelerate EV charging from 10% to 80% in 10 minutes. Inevitable? Maybe. Credible? Let’s dig in.

The Tech They’re Pushing

Shell’s Lubricants division claims it has developed a “high-performance EV thermal management fluid” that enables faster charging times “without compromise to battery safety, thermal stability or lifespan.” (Source: The Cool Down / New Atlas via The Cool Down) read more

Loeb Says Shell is a Frankenstein of Oil, LNG, Renewables & Gas Stations — Time to Chop Off a Limb

Sep 23rd, 2025

by admin.

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Third Point, Shell & the Art of Corporate Pressure

Activist investor Daniel Loeb of Third Point LLC hasn’t just been stirring the pot—he’s been threatening to dismantle the entire kitchen. Loeb is sticking to his call that Royal Dutch Shell should break itself apart. Not because Shell’s ambitious, but because its ambition is now a jigsaw puzzle nobody asked for.

As Reuters reported, Loeb “praises Shell moves, sticks by calls for break-up” even as Shell shifts its head office and simplifies its shareholder structure.

What Loeb’s Proposals Actually Are

Here’s what Third Point wants Shell to do: read more

Hakluyt, Heywood & Shell: The Corporate Spy Novel Nobody Asked For

Sep 16th, 2025

by admin.

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If you thought Shell’s sins stopped at oil spills and carbon doublespeak, think again. Enter Hakluyt & Co., the boutique spook shop founded by ex-MI6 officers. This article is about Neil Heywood — a British businessman linked with Hakluyt who died in China under circumstances straight out of a John le Carré plot. WTF indeed.

The Shell–Hakluyt Bromance

Hakluyt doesn’t advertise on billboards. Its pitch is whispered in club lounges: discreet intelligence, political access, and bespoke “market insights.” Critics — most loudly John Donovan — have long accused Shell of being one of Hakluyt’s favourite corporate playmates. When Shell wants “strategic friends,” it doesn’t call McKinsey; it calls the ghosts of MI6.

The connection has been documented in detail for years. In fact, Donovan asked Shell’s General Counsel point-blank if Neil Heywood, via Hakluyt, had been working on Shell’s interests in China. Shell’s reply? Silence. And that silence still echoes louder than a Shell ad campaign. (source) read more

Saint, Sinner… or Just Rich? Shell parks $40B of pensions with Goldman while the past keeps knocking

Sep 12th, 2025

by admin.

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Shell—the greedy, ruthless, polluting oil giant and perennial sin stock—has found a fresh halo to borrow: a $40 billion outsourced pension mandate with Wall Street royalty. As Bloomberg reported, “Goldman Sachs Group Inc. won a $40 billion mandate from Shell Plc to oversee pension assets for the energy company, in one of the biggest outsourced deals of its kind.” That’s not satire; that’s the lede. Bloomberg.

Goldman’s own one-minute victory lap says the quiet bit proudly: “The appointments mark one of the largest multi-national OCIO mandates awarded to date.” GSAM press page. read more

Purple Pump, Black Ledger: Shell’s Charity PR Meets Its Dirty Past

Sep 12th, 2025

by admin.

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Shell — the greedy, ruthless, polluting oil giant and perennial sin stock — is back with its annual feel-good campaign: The Giving Pump. You fill up at a purple pump; money goes to local charities; everyone smiles for Instagram. Shell’s own press release beams: “The Giving Pump goes to show how small choices—like where you fuel up—can add up to meaningful change,” says Barbara Stoyko, SVP for Mobility & Convenience Americas. “The Giving Pump works so well because of our generous retailers. They are the ones selecting the charities benefitted by our purple pumps because they know the causes that matter most to the customers in their communities.” And St. Jude’s ALSAC chimes in: “We are grateful for our friends at Shell… Every small act of kindness… helps St. Jude advance scientific research and treatment…” Lovely words, quoted verbatim from Shell’s 9 Sept 2025 release. Read the release. read more

Ditching Europe’s Green Jet-Fuel Dream to Keep the Oil Flowing (Happy Shell Shareholders, F*** the Planet!)

Sep 3rd, 2025

by admin.

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Oh, Shell—our dear, lovable poison-gas overlord—has done it again. In a brilliant display of investment-first, ecology-second thinking, they’ve just scrapped what would’ve been one of Europe’s largest biofuel plants in Rotterdam. You know, the one supposed to turn waste into sustainable aviation fuel (SAF) and renewable diesel? Yeah, that one. Guess it didn’t pass smell-test of profitability.

Machteld de Haan, the renewables and energy solutions chief, stated with all the emotional warmth of a tax auditor: read more

WTF Shell? First You Bought Volta, Now You’ve Axed It — Welcome to the EV “Transition” That Doesn’t Charge

Aug 16th, 2025

by admin.

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So, Shell—the globe-trotting fossil overlord known for turning everything it touches into carbon or chaos—has once again demonstrated how to fumble a “green” investment faster than you can say “climate crisis.” Yes, folks, the oil giant that tried to act like it cared about electric vehicles by buying Volta Inc. in 2023 has now killed it off, like a CEO burying a sustainability clause in a shareholder meeting.

According to Shell’s statement to CSP Daily News, it’s all part of a brilliant (read: brutally profit-driven) pivot. The company’s latest masterstroke? Ditch Volta’s retail-based, ad-supported EV charging network to focus instead on—you guessed it—fast chargers at Shell-branded gas stations. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

Climate Change

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“Spies, Subsidies, and the BlackRockBot Intervention”

Scene: The Virtual Conference Room

ShellBot:

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The Algorithm, the MI6 Problem, and the Multinational Having an Existential Crisis

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“The AI PR Assistant Shell Never Wanted”

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How Did Shell End Up in This PR Nightmare — And Why AI Changes Everything

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Shell has once again demonstrated its unwavering commitment to the principle that matters most to it: maximize returns now and allow consequences to remain someone else’s problem later.

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The Plot

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What Sawan Said

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The Tech They’re Pushing

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Third Point, Shell & the Art of Corporate Pressure

What Loeb’s Proposals Actually Are

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The Shell–Hakluyt Bromance

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Sir Henri Deterding, resurrected!

JOE LYCETT DISCUSSES SHELL WITH JOHN DONOVAN

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30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

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