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Shell’s Audacious Move: Launching Global Media Review, results in Protests at “Innocent” WPP Offices

…fear not, for Shell has invited numerous agencies to grovel at its feet, pitching for the privilege of serving this illustrious polluter

Posted by John Donovan: 6 June 2023

In a surprising turn of events, the notorious oil giant Shell has dared to venture into the realm of media review.  Currently under the seemingly angelic wings of WPP’s EssenceMediacom, Shell has decided to test the market and explore its options.

WPP, the stalwart that has dutifully served Shell’s media planning and buying needs since 2005, must be trembling at the thought of losing this precious account. But fear not, for Shell has invited numerous agencies to grovel at its feet, pitching for the privilege of serving this illustrious polluter.

Shell, known for its generous contributions to the destruction of our planet, is indeed a significant advertiser. Reports suggest they casually drop around £142 million on marketing every year. Such selflessness!

When questioned about this review, a Shell spokesperson remarked, with an air of nonchalance, “Shell routinely reviews its contracts to ensure our agreements align with our business strategy and current company needs.” Ah, yes, because nothing screams “business strategy” like contributing to the demise of the environment.

News of this review has sent shockwaves through the activist community. Extinction Rebellion has risen to the occasion, targeting Shell for its audacious pitch. They assembled outside EssenceMediacom’s offices in London, demanding the agency not stoop so low as to work with such an ecological pariah.

Extinction Rebellion has graciously provided suggestions to the invited agencies: boycott the pitch, share the leaflet internally, and even spill the beans to their TruthTeller site. After all, why would any self-respecting creative professional want to be complicit in Shell’s accelerating climate emergency? Such principled and brave stands are expected from the creative minds of our generation!

As for EssenceMediacom, they opted for silence, perhaps too overwhelmed by the irony of the situation. “Very peaceful” was their take on the Extinction Rebellion protest outside their sacred chambers. How magnanimous!

Shell declined to comment on the protests. They did, however, find the time to announce their new strategy, the aptly named Powering Progress. This strategy, unveiled in 2021, aims to accelerate Shell’s transition to net-zero emissions. Oh, how noble! It’s heartwarming to witness a company responsible for so much ecological damage suddenly discovering the need for progress.

Shell’s brazen media review and the ensuing protests have reminded us of the values and ethics that drive this magnificent corporation. We can only hope that the agencies invited to pitch will have the guts to reject Shell’s advances and spare their souls from becoming enablers of this ruthless polluter

Shell management has a track record of putting profits first, before any other consideration. In other words, money before ethics. This is after all the company that financially supported Hitler and the Nazis. The founder of Royal Dutch Shell – Sir Henri Deterding – was himself a fanatical Nazi. Google “Shell Nazi History”.

Shell is invited to point out for correction any factual inaccuracies and supply closing comments for publication as part of this article on an unedited basis. 

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, and shellnews.net, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.

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