This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by an editor for factual accuracy and satirical tone.
Shell, the ultimate sin stock and world-class carbon distributor, has found a new home for its latest North Sea alliance — in a building that sounds more like a Bond villain’s lair than a climate strategy hub: The Silver Fin.
Yes, the Shell–Equinor joint venture is officially moving into Union Street, Aberdeen, where the only thing deeper than the oil reserves is the irony.
This dream team of corporate polluters — Shell, backed by the likes of BlackRock and Vanguard, and Equinor, the Norwegian state’s oily pride — will cohabit 50/50 in this glass-clad collaboration zone, right alongside fellow fossil relics Harbour Energy, CNR International, and EnQuest.
🎉 HQ Hype with a Hint of PR Perfume
According to Shell’s Simon Roddy, this is a “first visible milestone” for the newly combined company — and nothing screams “milestone” like redecorating the war room.
“Silver Fin is an excellent location offering many positives,” he said, adding that “collaboration, connection and flexibility” will define the company culture.
Translation: “We can’t lower emissions, but we can lower cubicle walls.”
Not to be outshone, Camilla Salthe from Equinor called the move a “significant milestone” and waxed poetic about “shared culture” and “putting people at the centre.”
Except, of course, for the people breathing polluted air and watching their coastlines erode, who never seem to be invited to these inspirational LinkedIn moments.
💼 Same Old Drilling, New Office Smell
Let’s not forget: this “joint venture” isn’t about sustainability. It’s about merging tax liabilities, maximizing extraction from a declining basin, and pretending the “energy transition” can be conducted from a fifth-floor conference room with oat milk lattes.
Shell’s old Tullos HQ — which “dominated the Aberdeen skyline since the 1970s” — has just been demolished. But don’t worry: the carbon legacy remains fully operational.
👀 BlackRock, Vanguard, and the Invisible Shareholders
While Shell makes LinkedIn posts about natural light and “synergy”, the real power brokers — BlackRock, Vanguard, and other so-called ESG darlings — are quietly nodding in approval. After all, nothing boosts returns like a fresh round of asset consolidation wrapped in “collaboration culture.”
🧠 Sober Reflection
For more than two decades, John Donovan has exposed Shell’s double standards and disasters on RoyalDutchShellPlc.com.
The lawsuits? Zero.
The documentation? Relentless.
The greenwashing? Unstoppable.
Ask yourself:
If it wasn’t true, why hasn’t Shell sued?
🧨 Bottom Line?
Shell and Equinor have a new HQ. New signage. New desks. New slogans.
But the same toxic business model dressed up in modern workplace vocabulary.
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