Shell to Host AGM at Heathrow

This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by an editor for factual accuracy and satirical tone.

In a move that screams “accessibility” while quietly dodging accountability, Shell plc, the world’s leading expert in pollution, profit, and PR spin, has announced that its 2025 Annual General Meeting (AGM) will take place on May 20, 2025, at 10:00 UK time — live from the Sofitel London Heathrow Hotel.

Yes, Shell’s AGM will happen next to a major carbon-emitting transport hub — a fitting metaphor for a company that has spent decades turning fossil fuels into shareholder dividends and climate collapse.

But don’t worry — this year, you don’t have to be there in person to watch the greenwashing in real time. Shell is going hybrid, meaning shareholders can now participate virtually, so long as they remember to click “mute” when raising inconvenient questions.

💻 Zooming Into Green Rhetoric

According to Shell, the hybrid format is all about “modernizing the meeting process” and being “inclusive” of shareholders. You know — those very same shareholders that Shell prefers to ignore when they ask about oil spills, human rights abuses, or exploding carbon emissions.

Shell is encouraging early voting, of course — presumably before the Q&A gets too awkward. But if you plan to log in from your sofa and hold Shell accountable, just know that the mute button is faster than you are.

🗂️ Fancy Documents, Same Old Spin

Shell has filed its AGM notice and shareholder documents with the National Storage Mechanism (a fancy-sounding archive no one reads). And yes, printed copies are still being mailed — because nothing says “net zero ambition” like more deforestation in the name of postal convenience.

Shell would also love you to sign up for email alerts, so you can be notified whenever it decides to delay its climate targets again, or perhaps announces a new multi-billion-dollar buyback instead of funding clean energy.

💸 The Real Shareholders in the Room: BlackRock, Vanguard & Friends

Let’s not forget who’s really tuning in on May 20 — BlackRock, Vanguard, and other titans of the finance world who preach ESG while hoarding Shell stock like it’s a carbon-coated lottery ticket.

These investors will be watching closely — not to demand climate action, but to make sure the next quarterly dividend hits their portfolios right on time. Their silence, as always, will be deafening.

🧠 Sober Reflection

For over 20 years, John Donovan has documented Shell’s scandals on RoyalDutchShellPlc.com, from environmental disasters to secret surveillance operations. The evidence is staggering. The lawsuits? Zero.

Ask yourself:

If it wasn’t true, why hasn’t Shell sued?

🧨 Bottom Line?

Shell’s AGM will be more accessible than ever — and more evasive than ever.

It’s not a shareholder meeting. It’s a PowerPoint-powered illusion — a chance for Shell to say just enough, do just little enough, and let its investors look the other way one more time.

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