Shell Spins Wind Into Gold—With a Little Help from Google and a Lot of Help from Green PR

Shell, the unapologetic poster child of climate catastrophe, has teamed up with none other than Google—yes, the one that promises to do no evil (but forgot to check the fine print)—to give its ageing NoordzeeWind offshore wind farm a shiny new lease on life. Because nothing screams “sustainable energy transition” like letting an oil giant take credit for not tearing down a wind farm just yet.

That’s right. In a move drenched in green gloss and corporate spin, Shell and Google announced what they’re proudly calling a “world-first”: a corporate power purchase agreement (PPA) that will extend the life of the Netherlands’ first offshore wind park for another five glorious years of… well, not being dismantled.

According to Alphabet’s PR team (masquerading as Google spokespeople),

“This is the first time a corporate PPA has expanded the lifespan of an offshore wind park.”

Raise the banners. Ring the bells. Shell, that modest little outfit better known for oil spills than offshore breezes, has found a way to delay decommissioning a project that’s been spinning since 2007. The 36-turbine NoordzeeWind farm, off Egmond aan Zee, will now wheeze along until 2031, instead of being respectfully retired.

Why? Because Google—ever eager to buy some green brownie points—has signed on to buy every last electron from the ageing wind park. In return, Shell gets to seek permit extensions and make “crucial upgrades.” One assumes these will be paid for with the spare change they didn’t use to invest in meaningful climate action.

Marc Hoenders, director of energy transition realisation at the Netherlands’ Ministry of Climate and Green Growth (yes, that’s a real title), seemed content with the charade:

“I am pleased that it has been possible to extend the service life by a number of years.”

The environment is no doubt equally thrilled to have Shell still involved. After all, the project was originally launched as a joint venture between Shell and Vattenfall—before Shell, in true monopolistic form, bought out the rest and crowned itself sole owner in 2021.

And lest you think Shell is suddenly converting from sinner to saint, let’s not forget its real bread and butter: oil, gas, petrochemicals, and the not-so-occasional climate lawsuit. This little wind stunt is just the latest in its portfolio of greenwashed headlines, largely underwritten by institutional enablers like BlackRock, who continue to pour billions into Shell’s fossil-fuel expansion while mumbling something about ESG.

So yes—Google and Shell have collaborated to stretch out the twilight years of a 108-MW wind farm. Hooray. That’s roughly 0.2% of Shell’s annual emissions-worth of distraction. But sure, let’s all applaud the “first-of-its-kind” PPA as if it’s the dawn of a clean energy utopia and not a glorified PR band-aid on a planetary bullet wound

Disclosure:

This article was generated with the support of artificial intelligence and reviewed by a human editor. All information is factual and all direct quotes are presented accurately. No actual wind farms were harmed in the making of this satire—though the climate certainly was.

This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.