Gas

Shell Netherlands CEO Bemoans the Inconvenience of Saving the Planet

Jan 3rd, 2024

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Posted by John Donovan: 3 Jan 2024

In a recent outburst of corporate dismay, Shell Netherlands’ CEO, Frans Everts, shed tears over how pesky environmental lawsuits are wreaking havoc on the poor, defenseless business climate in the Netherlands. Speaking to the Telegraaf, he lamented that these legal shenanigans aimed at individual companies like his own are just not cricket, especially when they’re the only ones being told off.

Let’s rewind to 2021, when a court had the audacity to order Shell to cut net carbon emissions by 45% from 2019 levels by 2030. The District Court in The Hague, apparently not understanding how inconvenient this is for oil giants, gave Shell a homework assignment with options – reforestation, carbon capture, you name it. read more

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Oil Magnates Celebrate Profits With A Rain of Cash, While the World Burns

Jan 2nd, 2024

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 2 Jan 2024

Oh, what a time to be alive in the golden age of oil! As the world gasps in horror at climate change and energy crises, our heroic oil companies – BP, Shell, Chevron, ExxonMobil, and TotalEnergies – are set to dole out a staggering $100 billion in payouts to their beloved shareholders. It’s like a fairy tale, where the rich get richer while the planet heats up!

In 2022, these noble guardians of fossil fuels blessed their shareholders with $104 billion in dividends and buybacks, according to the Institute for Energy Economics and Financial Analysis (IEEFA). All this, after a year of record-breaking profits thanks to the turmoil in energy markets. Who knew that a global crisis could be so lucrative? read more

Shell’s Prelude FLNG: Now With More Delays and Suspense!

Dec 27th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 27 Dec 2023

Shell’s gargantuan Prelude FLNG, floating off Western Australia like a beached whale, has finally seen a new LNG tanker grace its presence since its ‘scheduled’ maintenance started in August. This grand piece of engineering wizardry shut down for a few months of TLC, but, in true Shell style, they found a few extra chores and extended their spa break.

Reports have been floating around that the Prelude’s makeover is complete, but Shell plays coy, not confirming if their floating giant is ready for the ball. As of now, the Orion Bohemia, a sprightly 174,000-cbm LNG carrier, is hanging out at the FLNG, probably asking, ‘Are we there yet?’ read more

British Museum Gratefully Embraces BP’s ‘Green’ Millions for Grand Makeover

Dec 19th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 19 Dec 2023

In a move that screams “We’re totally in sync with the times,” the British Museum has gleefully jumped into bed with BP, the poster child for environmental mindfulness, for a modest sum of £50m. This cash injection is to fund what’s being touted as the most ambitious arts and crafts project since Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling.

BP, known far and wide for their green fingers and a heart for the planet, will generously fund the museum’s “masterplan.” This plan, which could be mistaken for a Bond villain’s scheme for world domination, is estimated to cost a meager £1bn. And who better to foot the bill than a company renowned for its love of Mother Earth?

In this audacious display of modernity, the museum plans to give its Bloomsbury building a facelift, because what’s more important than looking good? The museum proudly proclaims the project’s “scale, complexity, and importance,” seemingly forgetting to mention the ‘irony’ aspect. read more

Shell’s Floating Money Machine Back in Action Just in Time for Winter Profits

Dec 18th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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…let’s take a stroll down memory lane. The Prelude, a name that surely suggests a grand beginning, has had a few… let’s call them hiccups, since its 2019 debut. A fire here, a full power loss there – just the usual teething problems for the world’s largest floating LNG facility. The Prelude’s track record reads a bit like a soap opera plot – halted production, union strikes for higher wages, and let’s not forget the cozy little fire…

Posted by John Donovan: 18 Dec 2023

Ah, the wonders of modern technology and impeccable timing! Shell, ever the paragon of environmental stewardship and operational smoothness, has graced the world with the news that its Prelude LNG facility is back up and running. This floating marvel, which stretches longer than four soccer fields (because size matters in the world of fossil fuels), is conveniently revving up just as the northern hemisphere enters its peak gas-guzzling season. Talk about timing! read more

Shell Ditches Half a Million Broadband Customers

Dec 14th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 14 Dec 2023

In an astonishing display of ‘see ya later’ strategy, Shell has decided to bid adieu to the British residential energy market. But fear not, Sir Charles Dunstone’s broadband empire, TalkTalk Telecom, is swooping in like a knight to rescue nearly half a million of these abandoned souls.

Sky News, ever the bearer of intriguing news, has whispered that TalkTalk Telecom is all set to absorb a whopping 480,000 broadband customers from Shell Energy Retail UK, courtesy of UK energy superstar, Octopus Energy. But let’s not talk about the price, because apparently, that’s a bit hush-hush right now. read more

Shell Says ‘So Long’ to Retail Energy, Passes the Baton to Octopus

Dec 7th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 7 Dec 2023

In the latest episode of “What Will Shell Do Next?”, the oil giant, known for its subtle as a sledgehammer approach to the environment, has decided to hand over its UK and Germany retail energy operations to Octopus Energy Group. The deal, which was inked faster than you can say “fossil fuels,” makes Octopus the new parent of 1.3 million former Shell customers. Shell’s subsidiary, Impello Limited, is probably waving goodbye with a tear in its corporate eye. read more

Pension Funds Get Memo: Ditch Oil & Gas

Dec 1st, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Shell is basically the tobacco industry of the energy world – they might as well be selling cigarettes. Their job? Keep the oil and gas flowing, consequences be damned.

Posted by John Donovan; 1 December 2023

In a plot twist that could be straight out of a Hollywood eco-thriller, pension schemes are being told to wake up and smell the carbon emissions. At the Pensions and Lifetime Savings Association’s ESG conference in London, the big talk was about ditching those oh-so-yesterday oil and gas investments. Because, you know, investing in the destruction of our planet is so 20th century.

Enter Tony Burdon, the chief of Make My Money Matter (MMMM), who’s been rallying the troops to write angry letters to their pension schemes. His message? If those fossil fuel fanboys at BP and Shell don’t clean up their act, it’s time to take our money and run. Oh, and he’s got Olivia Coleman from “The Crown” on board, because nothing says serious environmental policy like celebrity endorsements. read more

Oil Titans on Trial: Big Energy Companies Grapple with Climate Deception Lawsuit in California Showdown

Nov 27th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Grab your popcorn, folks. This legal drama is about to reveal whether these energy companies are just misunderstood giants or masterminds of eco-deception. Stay tuned!

Posted by John Donovan:

27 November 2023

Well, well, well, if it isn’t our favorite energy giants back in the spotlight, but this time they’re not drilling oil – they’re drilling themselves into a bit of a legal quagmire. BP PLC, Chevron Corp., ConocoPhillips, Exxon Mobil Corp., and Royal Dutch Shell PLC are about to play a high-stakes game of courtroom chess in sunny California. And guess what? It’s not about who struck oil, but who played a little too fast and loose with the truth about climate change. read more

Shell’s Floating Marvel, Prelude LNG, Set to Make a Splashy Comeback Amidst Winter Demand Surge

Nov 27th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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There was talk of shutting down Prelude for a year to fix issues, but Shell opted for a shorter maintenance stint. There was a fire, a trade union dispute, a shutdown, a cyclone season – it’s like Mother Nature herself was questioning the wisdom of this floating giant.

Posted by John Donovan: 27 November 2023

Ah, the ever-so-grandiose Shell is at it again with their floating behemoth, the Prelude LNG facility. After what feels like an eternity of tinkering, adjusting, and possibly duct-taping, Shell is almost ready to flaunt this colossal floaty once more. Set adrift 300 miles off the West Coast of Australia (probably to keep it away from any prying eyes), Prelude is more than just a giant on the waves; it’s a floating testament to Shell’s love for big, expensive toys. read more

Shell and BP’s Tightrope Walk: Plan B: Diversify or Bust

Nov 23rd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 23 November 2023

Shell and BP’s Net Zero Balancing Act: A Pricey Path to Clean Energy

Shell PLC and BP PLC might need to break their piggy banks and cough up a staggering US$35 billion yearly until 2050. Why? To keep strutting their stuff as major energy players while playing nice with the planet.

The Cost of Going Green (While Staying Black)

Here’s the deal: if these oil tycoons want to keep pumping out oil and gas but not be the bad guys of climate change, they’ve got to get serious about carbon capture and removal. The International Energy Agency (IEA) laid it out: around 60 Mt CO2 of carbon capture, utilization, and storage (CCUS) capacity, and about 200 Mt CO2 of carbon removal capacity. read more

Shell Egypt just struck gold, or should we say gas

Nov 23rd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 23 November 2023

Shell’s subsidiary, Shell Egypt, just struck gold, or should we say gas, in the Mediterranean. They’ve been drilling holes in the ocean floor, and voilà, they hit a jackpot of natural gas at the Mina West-1X well. That’s just the first of three wells they’re planning to poke in the Mina West project.

Down in the offshore Nile Delta, about 250 meters under the sea (no mermaids spotted), they found a hefty stash of natural gas. Preliminary poking around suggests this could be a big deal for Egypt’s energy scene and a nice feather in Shell Egypt’s cap. read more

Shell’s Prelude Extended Vacation

Nov 14th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Floating off the coast of Western Australia like a lost whale, the UK-based behemoth initially planned a few months of spa time for the FLNG starting in August. But, as with all things Shell, it’s not that simple.

Posted by John Donovan: 14 November 2023

Shell, the ever-so-efficient energy giant, has extended the maintenance of its colossal Prelude floating LNG producer. Why, you ask? Because they’ve just now noticed some extra work that needs doing. Talk about being late to the party.

A Shell spokesperson, likely spinning a globe to find where the Prelude is, commented, “Prelude is a complex facility in a remote offshore location.” Ah, the old ‘it’s complex and far away’ line – a classic! They added, “We continue to work through the process methodically taking as much time as required to ensure safe execution of all activities.” Translation: We’re taking our sweet time. read more

Shell and BP: Plotting a Fossil Fuel Fairy Tale in Mega Merger Mania?

Nov 12th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted on 12 November 2023 by John Donovan

In the high-stakes world of oil barons and carbon czars, Shell and BP might just be flirting with the idea of a fossil fuel marriage made in heaven. Because, in the grand world of big oil, bigger is always better, especially when everyone else is fretting over minor things like climate change and renewable energy.

Once upon a time, under the starry-eyed leadership of Lord John Browne, BP was the belle of the ball, scooping up Amoco and Arco in a transatlantic love affair. Meanwhile, Shell, not to be outdone and under Ben van Beurden’s watchful eye, waltzed with BG Group for a cool £36 billion in 2016. read more

Shell Plays the ‘Cool Uncle’ Card: Luring Gen Z with Games and Influencers While Glossing Over Fossil Fuels

Nov 10th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Shell, the ever-so-clever fox, asserts that their ad blitz is all about showcasing their role in both traditional fuels and renewables. After all, who wouldn’t want to know about the great things a fossil fuel giant is doing in the age of climate crisis?

Posted by John Donovan: 10 November 2023

In an epic display of keeping up with the kids, Shell, the oil and gas behemoth, is donning its hippest hat to woo the young’uns. What better way to endear oneself to a generation terrified of climate change than by hopping onto Instagram, gaming platforms, and influencer bandwagons?

“I am fuelled by the ocean,” proclaims Sage Erickson, a champion surfer with 310,000 Instagram disciples, in a Shell-backed video. She talks about instilling noble values in the youth, while artfully side-stepping any mention of Shell or its fossil fuel-centric agenda. read more

Shell’s High Seas High Jinks: Suing the Little Greenpeace Boats for Big Green Bucks

Nov 9th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 9 November 2023

In a dazzling display of corporate might meets environmental kite-flying, Shell, the ever-so-benevolent oil monarch, has unsheathed its legal swords against the high-speed rubber ducks of the sea—Greenpeace. With a modest ask of £1.7 million in damages, Shell is practically passing around the charity hat, seeking just compensation for the audacious act of activists boarding its noble vessel, the White Marlin.

As Shell puts it, with the gravity of a Shakespearean aside, they must recover “the significant costs of responding to Greenpeace’s dangerous actions.” Yes, dear reader, let’s ponder the danger of these eco-warriors and their inflatable boats against the backdrop of an oil platform, as threatening as a feather to a tank. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

Gas

Shell is basically the tobacco industry of the energy world – they might as well be selling cigarettes. Their job? Keep the oil and gas flowing, consequences be damned.

Grab your popcorn, folks. This legal drama is about to reveal whether these energy companies are just misunderstood giants or masterminds of eco-deception. Stay tuned!

There was talk of shutting down Prelude for a year to fix issues, but Shell opted for a shorter maintenance stint. There was a fire, a trade union dispute, a shutdown, a cyclone season – it’s like Mother Nature herself was questioning the wisdom of this floating giant.

Floating off the coast of Western Australia like a lost whale, the UK-based behemoth initially planned a few months of spa time for the FLNG starting in August. But, as with all things Shell, it’s not that simple.

Shell, the ever-so-clever fox, asserts that their ad blitz is all about showcasing their role in both traditional fuels and renewables. After all, who wouldn’t want to know about the great things a fossil fuel giant is doing in the age of climate crisis?

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30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

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