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It’s hard not to shed a tear for Shell — the poor, misunderstood £160 billion oil giant that now faces the unfathomable injustice of… paying tax.
Yes, actual tax.
Thanks to Labour’s latest “raid” on North Sea oil and gas firms, Shell now expects to cough up an extra £380 millionunder the extended Energy Profits Levy, lovingly nicknamed the windfall tax. That’s on top of the $462 million it already paid last year — pocket change for a company still flinging out billions in buybacks while the North Sea drowns in declining rigs and decency.
This brutal affront to free-market looting came courtesy of Chancellor Rachel Reeves, who had the gall to raise the tax rate on North Sea producers from 75% to 78% — and, horror of horrors, scrapped the loopholes that let Shell write off its tax bill by drilling even more.
Shell, of course, reacted with characteristic grace: complete silence. Not even a snarky quote from the press office. The figure, they clarified, is merely an “accounting charge” — translation: we’re not paying it yet. Calm down, BlackRock.(Yes, they’re still one of Shell’s biggest cheerleaders, alongside the ever-oily Vanguard.)
Shell’s quarterly profits did fall, from $7.7 billion to a more modest $5.6 billion. But don’t feel too bad. They’ve still got enough left over to fund their 14th consecutive quarter of share buybacks — because nothing says “climate leadership” like rewarding the top 0.1% while dodging meaningful reinvestment.
Just in case they need a tax break to soothe their wounds, Shell recently partnered with Norway’s Equinor in a 50-50 UK North Sea joint venture — a neat little trick that, according to analyst Ashley Kelty, will allow them to “pool their respective tax allowances.” Translation: consolidate losses, offset profits, reduce tax exposure. You know, the classics.
And if you’re wondering how this all fits into Labour’s so-called green agenda? You’re not alone. Tony Blair — who, let’s not forget, once helped run the country,piped up last week to declare that limiting fossil fuel use is “doomed to fail.” His think tank then kind of walked it back. Classic Tony.
Meanwhile, internal Labour rumblings continue, with Ed Miliband nervously clutching his Energy Secretary title while Sir Keir Starmer’s office does everything except guarantee his future.
Still, for Shell, the enemy isn’t policy uncertainty or climate collapse — it’s paying their fair share. How dare the British government expect the likes of Shell to help fund the society they extract from? Outrageous.
So here we are: profits fall, tax rises, buybacks continue, and Shell plays the eternal victim. Just another day in the life of the ultimate sin stock.
This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan. There is also a Wikipedia segment.
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