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Shell CEO Wael Sawan has officially confirmed what we all suspected: when it comes to strategic choices, nothing gets Shell hot under the collar like… Shell itself. Asked by the Financial Times whether the oil giant might finally pounce on BP — its bedraggled, weakened partner in decades of extractive mischief — Sawan didn’t mince words:
“We will always look at these things, but you are also looking to see what is the alternative. Right now, buying back Shell [shares] for us continues to be absolutely the right alternative to go for.”
Translation: BP may be on clearance, but we prefer to invest in our favourite addiction — inflating our own share price.
This comes hot on the heels of yet another share buyback: $3.5 billion, Shell’s go-to reflex when profits pop and conscience flops. That’s now 14 quarters in a row of Shell slurping up its own stock like it’s going out of fashion — because when your planet-wrecking business model is under scrutiny, the best move is to double down on rewarding BlackRock and Vanguard.
Meanwhile, poor BP — the long-suffering, slightly greener step-sibling — is trimming buybacks and trying to regain investor trust. Aww. How very 2020 of them.
But Shell, ever the bold-faced titan of corporate gall, isn’t tempted by BP’s discounted price tag. Never mind that the two were once joined at the colonial hip, operating as Shell-Mex and BP, jointly funding apartheid-era projects and sharing private intelligence assets through outfits like Hakluyt. The bromance may be over, but the appetite for greed lives on — just not for mergers, thank you very much.
Shell’s latest profits blew past analyst expectations, because of course they did. And rather than investing in silly little things like “climate solutions” or “long-term sustainability,” they’re sticking to the plan: make it rain for shareholders, leave the world to burn quietly in the background.
Shell remains the ultimate sin stock — toxic, self-obsessed, and adored by Wall Street’s finest. After all, when you’ve got BlackRock whispering in one ear and Vanguard clapping from the sidelines, why would you ever change?
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