Shell Energy

I feel like I am back on dial up in the dark ages!

by John Donovan.

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Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan: 12 November 202

Reviewer Chris: Location Wirral: Date 2023-10-18

Comments

I work from home and the internet drops out constantly several times per hour. The bandwidth also isn’t good enough to stream a video in 360 for more than ten mins. I feel like I am back on dial up in the dark ages!

Reviewer M.Simpson: Location Liverpool: Date 2023-10-17

Comments

What an awful company, switched provider to BT and still being charged by Shell even though they know they are not providing a service, typical oil company should never have been allowed into the telecomms sector or any sector for that matter they have done enough damage to the planet, crash and burn suckers!

Reviewer Mr Morris: Location Cheshire UK: Date 2023-10-15

Comments

All I can say is we’ve been counting the months until we can go with another ISP. For a multi-billion pound company, the functionality of the website is deplorable. I can’t ever view my bills, important links on the website don’t function. It’s actually shocking how bad Shell are as an ISP. read more

^*This website and sisters royaldutchshellgroup.com, shellnazihistory.com, royaldutchshell.website, johndonovan.website, shellnews.net, and shellwikipedia.com, are owned by John Donovan - more information here. There is also a Wikipedia segment, the Shell DPA Files, "Shell and the Spies", the Shell Leaks files, as well as books written and published by John Donovan - Kindle eBooks. Timeline of the Donovan Shell Feud. Toxic History of Royal Dutch Shell Group. Shell and the Donovans: The Full Media Record — 550+ Articles, 110 Books, 40 Years. ^*All created and supported by internet wizz, Nick Gill.

Shell’s High Seas High Jinks: Suing the Little Greenpeace Boats for Big Green Bucks

Nov 9th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 9 November 2023

In a dazzling display of corporate might meets environmental kite-flying, Shell, the ever-so-benevolent oil monarch, has unsheathed its legal swords against the high-speed rubber ducks of the sea—Greenpeace. With a modest ask of £1.7 million in damages, Shell is practically passing around the charity hat, seeking just compensation for the audacious act of activists boarding its noble vessel, the White Marlin.

As Shell puts it, with the gravity of a Shakespearean aside, they must recover “the significant costs of responding to Greenpeace’s dangerous actions.” Yes, dear reader, let’s ponder the danger of these eco-warriors and their inflatable boats against the backdrop of an oil platform, as threatening as a feather to a tank. read more

No Stars at all for anything… worst broadband provider I have ever had

Nov 3rd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan:

3 November 2023

Reviewer John Duxbury: Location Selby: Date 2023-10-13

Comments

No Stars at all for anything. The worst broadband provider I have ever had. Regularly loosing signal whilst watching vids online on my TV, resulting in my computer dropping the connection. Shockingly bad service and for the last 15 months it just was not worth phoning them and expecting them to improve. When the contract finished they tried to bill me for the final month even though I paid in advance. Cannot even do basic accounting.

Reviewer Daniel: Location Kent: Date 2023-10-10 read more

Shell Revels in Petro Profits as World Pleads for Climate Mercy

Nov 2nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023

In a spectacle of corporate jubilation, Shell has flaunted a $6.2 billion profit bonanza, much to the horror of environmentalists and the delight of shareholders rubbing their hands in glee. As if mother nature hadn’t suffered enough, Shell has profited handsomely from the oil price bounce, a merry-go-round fueled by Opec+’s crafty production cuts and the sad ongoing soap opera of global conflicts.

This show of profits, a slight dip from last year’s staggering $9.4 billion—when oil prices soared amidst the heart-wrenching drama of Russia’s invasion of Ukraine—still paints a rosy picture for Shell’s ledger. It seems the oil barons have found their silver lining in the dark clouds of geopolitical turmoil, with the World Bank casting a doomsday prophecy of oil prices potentially skyrocketing to an eye-watering $150 a barrel. read more

Shell’s CEO Crowns Himself King of the Buyback Bonanza, Sidesteps the Acquisition Arms Race

Nov 2nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 2 November 2023

As the world gasps in the shadow of climate calamity, Shell CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged from the shadows, not with a plan to save the planet, but with a scheme to shower shareholders with more silver. In a dazzling display of financial acrobatics, Shell is turning its back on the charm of ‘mega acquisitions’ to play a solo game of Monopoly with its windfall profits.

Sawan, with the finesse of a Vegas high-roller, has bet big on a ‘buyback bonanza’ to keep the cash registers ringing for those with stakes in the game, prioritizing a hefty $3.5 billion repurchase raffle ticket for the next quarter. read more

Shell’s Brilliant Strategy: Cut Green Jobs While Pretending to Care About the Planet

Oct 25th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 25 October 2023

In an awe-inspiring move to really show the world where its priorities lie, Shell has decided to trim down its low-carbon workforce, because who really needs those, right? With the earnest goal of giving profits a loving embrace, Shell announced that it will be cutting at least 15% of jobs at its low-carbon solutions division and giving its hydrogen business the cold shoulder. The mastermind behind this genius plan? CEO Wael Sawan, who’s clearly got a sixth sense for high-profit ventures. read more

Kudos to Havas! Because Nothing Screams ‘Ethical’ Like Partnering with Big Oil

Oct 22nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 22 October 2023

Oh, what a time to be alive! The ever-glorious and virtuous B Corp-certified agency, Havas, known for its undying commitment to ethical operations, has taken a brave leap into new realms of “ethics.” By choosing to partner with Shell – the beloved eco-friendly giant known (in some very narrow circles) for its deep love for the environment – Havas has demonstrated its sheer commitment to… well, we’re not sure yet, but surely it’s something great! read more

Shell Energy Customer Support Experts are like Monkeys following a script

Oct 22nd, 2023

by John Donovan.

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These aren’t broadband experts who know what they’re talking about, they’re monkeys following a script.

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan

22 Oct 2023

Reviewer Diane: Location Norwich: Date 2023-09-28

Comments

Although it took some weeks to set up the broadband, I was pleased with the low price. It did drop out and there were times when I lost connection for quite a while. The price went up after a year so I cancelled and went to another provider. I asked to keep my landline number and they said a firm “NO” and told me, amongst other things that they had given it to someone else and that I had to send the router back within a month or they would fine me for the cost of it and sent me a postbag! Meeow! read more

Shell’s Loving Embrace of Efficiency: Contractors, Who Needs ‘Em?

Oct 20th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 20 October 2023

In the latest display of corporate generosity, Shell’s brand-new CEO Wael Sawan is ensuring that hundreds of IT contractors get the chance to experience the world outside of Shell’s illustrious doors. Why? Because nothing screams ‘performance, discipline, and simplification’ like letting a large portion of your workforce go! This strategic move is especially interesting considering permanent staff already find themselves in the minority within some IT teams. Efficiency or a fun game of musical chairs? You decide. read more

Shell’s Delayed Court Battle in South Africa – Because Who Needs Pristine Coasts Anyway?

Oct 18th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan: 18 October 2023

Oh, the audacity of those pesky environmentalists and their legal battles! It seems that Shell’s grand plan to explore for oil and gas off South Africa’s Wild Coast has hit a little snag, but who cares about the environment when there’s money to be made, right?

The court case, which was supposed to determine whether Shell can turn a beautiful, untouched piece of the world into its personal playground, has been conveniently delayed until next year. How considerate! Ricky Stone, the lawyer for environmentalists from Greenpeace Africa and Natural Justice, revealed, “It doesn’t seem like it (hearing) will be this year and will likely be heard in the first term of 2024 only.” Because, you know, protecting the environment can wait. read more

Shell’s CEO Discovers a Magical New Path to Net Zero Emissions, Shares Soar!

Oct 17th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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As always, Shell is cordially invited to point out any factual inaccuracies, although we suspect they’re too busy counting their rising profits to bother.

Posted by John Donovan: 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful twist in the ever-entertaining saga of Shell’s environmental pursuits! Shell Plc’s CEO, Wael Sawan, has emerged as a visionary leader, unveiling a groundbreaking new approach to achieving net zero emissions. Never mind that the company’s shares are soaring to levels unseen in five years – we have a new pathway to salvation!

Sawan, the brilliant mastermind, clarified the situation with utmost confidence, saying, “For avoidance of doubt, what hasn’t changed is the destination that we have set for ourselves. What has changed is the pathway we’re going to get there.” It’s almost poetic, isn’t it? The destination remains unchanged, but the journey, oh, the journey is now filled with unprecedented twists and turns. read more

Shell Finds a Warm Welcome at Havas as Extinction Rebellion Throws Surprise Party

Oct 17th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 17 October 2023

Oh, what a delightful turn of events! Extinction Rebellion, everyone’s favorite road-blocking, climate-conscious disruptors, have graced Havas in London with their presence. They’re quite the party planners, aren’t they?

The Extinction Rebellion activists, in all their theatrical glory, decided to pay a visit to Havas in King’s Cross, expressing their heartfelt concerns about Havas’ audacious decision to collaborate with the villainous Shell. It’s almost as if the protesters care more about the environment than Havas’ bottom line – how shocking! read more

Shell’s Latest PR Stunt: Trying To Convince Us They Care!

Oct 9th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan:

9 October 2023

Oh, look who’s back in the news! It’s our favorite planet-loving company, Shell! The same Shell, best known for its endless love for the environment, has graced us with yet another PR move. Because, you know, a giant oil conglomerate searching for a new PR agency partner is definitely the solution to climate change. They want to find someone who can offer all the bells and whistles—corporate comms, public affairs, influencer management—you name it. Maybe they should also add “genuine care for the environment” to that list, but hey, who are we to suggest? read more

Painfully slow Shell Broadband

Oct 7th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Painfully slow at times. Not very reliable either.

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan 7 Oct 2023

Reviewer Kevin: Location Matlock: Date 2023-09-12

Comments

I would not recommend shell energy broadband and phone to anyone, Had no problem at all with the Post Office. but when Shell took over they cut me off and sent a engineer out to check my router and said that I wanted a new one when in actual fact it still worked as I tried it before sending it back They told me that I could upgrade to superfast fibre and the contract would last 18 months at a cost of around £29 but every time I receive a a paper bill it has gone up and the last one that I got was £44 , I spent 1 hour 45 minutes on the phone just to hear music playing so I hung up after getting an head ache the day after I hung up after 30 minutes. read more

Shell’s CEO Attempts a Heart-to-Heart, but Is Anyone Buying It?

Oct 5th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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Posted by John Donovan 5 October 2023

In an astonishing move to show he’s “in touch” with the times, Shell Plc’s Chief Emotional Officer, Wael Sawan, plans a virtual pow-wow to soothe the jittery nerves of his eco-anxious troops. You know, those rightfully concerned about the planet’s future and all.

Remember when Sawan became the darling of environmentalists everywhere by – wait for it – prioritizing shareholder returns and reigniting Shell’s love affair with oil and gas? No? Oh, right, because that didn’t happen. What he did instead was ruffle the feathers of a number of employees, particularly the free thinkers over in the Renewables and Energy Solutions division.

Our dear CEO has kindly invited the Shell family to a little digital tea party titled “A Conversation With Wael” this October 17. The purpose? To “deepen our conversation on the opportunities and dilemmas we face as we position Shell to win in the energy transition,” an invitation bragged. The translation: “Let’s chat about why we’re clinging to our old ways, even though the house is literally on fire.”

Ahead of this riveting rendezvous, employees took to an internal forum. One heroic individual shared their struggle, stating the company’s customer-led approach makes bedtime stories with the kids a tad challenging: “It’s difficult for me to justify to my kids,” they said. Another keen observer noted that recent asset sales had Shell looking less “futuristic” and more “back in my day.” read more

Shell’s Brilliantly “Clean” Plan: Ramping Up LNG While Preaching Net-Zero Gospel

Oct 5th, 2023

by John Donovan.

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…let’s not forget the crown jewel in Shell’s sparkling tiara: its $54bn splurge on BG Group in 2016. Who cares about environmental criticism? More LNG, more money…

Posted by John Donovan 5 October 2023

In a masterful display of environmental puppetry, Shell, that ever-conscientious guardian of Mother Earth, announced at its capital markets day (amidst tittering from environmentalists) that while they were all about that net zero life, the delicious allure of liquefied natural gas (LNG) was simply too irresistible. After all, what’s a little carbon between friends?

Our beloved Wael Sawan, the fresh captain of the Shell ship, must have missed the memo on actual clean energy. Instead, he sang praises of LNG – you know, that other carbon-emitting fuel. Apparently, the sheer prospect of rolling in green – not from trees but from dollar bills – by investing a cool $4bn a year in LNG projects up to 2025 was just too tantalizing to pass up. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

Shell Energy

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan: 12 November 202

I work from home and the internet drops out constantly several times per hour. The bandwidth also isn’t good enough to stream a video in 360 for more than ten mins. I feel like I am back on dial up in the dark ages!

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan:

3 November 2023

These aren’t broadband experts who know what they’re talking about, they’re monkeys following a script.

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan

22 Oct 2023

As always, Shell is cordially invited to point out any factual inaccuracies, although we suspect they’re too busy counting their rising profits to bother.

Painfully slow at times. Not very reliable either.

Shell Energy Broadband Reviews recently posted on broadband.co.uk

Examples posted by John Donovan 7 Oct 2023

Posted by John Donovan 5 October 2023

In an astonishing move to show he’s “in touch” with the times, Shell Plc’s Chief Emotional Officer, Wael Sawan, plans a virtual pow-wow to soothe the jittery nerves of his eco-anxious troops. You know, those rightfully concerned about the planet’s future and all.

…let’s not forget the crown jewel in Shell’s sparkling tiara: its $54bn splurge on BG Group in 2016. Who cares about environmental criticism? More LNG, more money…

Sir Henri Deterding, resurrected!

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30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.

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