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Pay the Quakes, Lock the Budget, Forget the Culprits?” — The Groningen Law that Lets Shell Breathe Easier

Oct 2nd, 2025

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NAM, of course, is the joint venture of Shell and ExxonMobil that milked Groningen for decades.

The Dutch caretaker cabinet has pushed a new Groningen Law through to Parliament that promises faster payouts for quake-damaged homes — and a lighter legal load for the polluters who helped cause the mess. As NL Times reports: “The Caretaker Dutch cabinet has submitted the Groningen Law, which finalizes compensation for damages caused by gas extraction, to the Tweede Kamer, despite strong criticism from the Council of State.”

The bill would guarantee compensation up to €60,000 even without proof that gas extraction caused the damage — tidy for homeowners in a hurry, also tidy for corporate defendants who prefer fewer courtroom surprises. read more

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Purple Pump, Black Ledger: Shell’s Charity PR Meets Its Dirty Past

Sep 12th, 2025

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Shell — the greedy, ruthless, polluting oil giant and perennial sin stock — is back with its annual feel-good campaign: The Giving Pump. You fill up at a purple pump; money goes to local charities; everyone smiles for Instagram. Shell’s own press release beams: “The Giving Pump goes to show how small choices—like where you fuel up—can add up to meaningful change,” says Barbara Stoyko, SVP for Mobility & Convenience Americas. “The Giving Pump works so well because of our generous retailers. They are the ones selecting the charities benefitted by our purple pumps because they know the causes that matter most to the customers in their communities.” And St. Jude’s ALSAC chimes in: “We are grateful for our friends at Shell… Every small act of kindness… helps St. Jude advance scientific research and treatment…” Lovely words, quoted verbatim from Shell’s 9 Sept 2025 release. Read the release. read more

Equal misery, equal money: Groningen’s tenants can finally claim Shell-quake mental-health damages too

Sep 10th, 2025

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Groningen’s long-suffering renters, resident kids, and unmarried partners have just been upgraded from second-class victims to full members of the Earthquake Club. The Mining Damage Institute Groningen (IMG) now treats non-homeowners the same as homeowners when awarding compensation for mental anguish caused by the man-made quakes from gas extraction. Or, as IMG itself put it: “The rationale behind this expansion is that non-homeowners can experience the same degree of suffering and grief as homeowners.” read more

Shell’s Energy “Transition” Hits a 20-Year Low in Oil Output – And Wall Street Still Claps

Aug 8th, 2025

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After dabbling in green PR and selling off assets, Shell’s production tanks while Exxon and Chevron pump away. BlackRock yawns.

Oh, Shell. The self-proclaimed champion of “Powering Progress.” The oil giant that flirted with an “energy transition” just long enough to slap wind turbines on its annual report before sprinting right back to its first love: fossil fuels. And yet—somehow—it’s producing less of them than at any point in the last two decades.

Let’s set the stage. In the great oil-and-gas Olympics of Q2, Exxon and Chevron took home gold medals in pure, unapologetic extraction. Exxon pumped 4.6 million barrels of oil equivalent per day, fuelled by Guyana’s deepwater gushers and a little something called the Pioneer Natural Resources acquisition. Chevron cranked out 3.4 million barrels per day, with Kazakhstan, the Gulf of Mexico, and the Permian all coughing up crude like it’s still 1973. read more

Shell-BP Megamerger: When Greed Meets Greenwash in a Match Made in Hydrocarbon Hell

Jun 3rd, 2025

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When Shell CEO Wael Sawan responded to speculation about a mega-merger with BP, he said the bar for acquisitions was “very high.” Clearly, it’s not nearly as high as Shell’s tolerance for greenhouse gas emissions, human rights controversies, or sheer corporate arrogance.

Now, as rumours swirl about Shell swallowing up its once-proud British cousin, BP, we are once again reminded that in Big Oil, consolidation is just a polite word for “expanding your emissions footprint while doubling your marketing budget.” read more

Shell Games: Champagne Bonuses, Cracked Climates, and the BP Bait-and-Switch

May 18th, 2025

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In the latest episode of Oilopoly: Climate Be Damned, Shell—the planet-warming powerhouse formerly known as Royal Dutch, now just royally brazen—is facing a pesky little revolt. No, not from the millions affected by its carbon-spewing empire or the earthquake survivors of Groningen, but from its own shareholders, clutching their pearls at the audacity of an £8.6 million payday for CEO Wael Sawan.

Yes, Sawan—the man who makes eight figures while fending off climate lawsuits with one hand and greenwashing with the other—received a nearly £1 million raise last year. Apparently, polluting the planet, greenlighting LNG expansion, and flirting with a BP takeover is now a performance bonus category. read more

BP: Blood in the Water, and Shell Smells It

May 18th, 2025

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What do you get when a bumbling oil giant haemorrhages value, loses strategic coherence, and waves around a “Help Wanted” sign for a new chairman? Apparently, a neon-lit invitation for the fossil fuel mafia to pounce—Shell first in line, calculator in hand, rubbing its oily palms.

Yes, dear readers, the whispers around London aren’t your average City gossip. BP—once a titan of British industry, now more of a cautionary tale wrapped in PR greenwash—is reportedly catching the eye of its smug, more bloated cousin: Shell. And why not? BP’s market cap has shrunk to a pint-sized £56 billion, less than half that of Shell, whose idea of “climate leadership” involves expanding oil drilling while calling it a “transition.” read more

Shell, the earthquake whisperer of the Netherlands

May 18th, 2025

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While most of us wince at a cracked window or a tremor underfoot, Shell—and its charmingly destructive joint venture with ExxonMobil, the Nederlandse Aardolie Maatschappij (NAM)—hears the sweet sound of shareholder dividends. Welcome to Groningen, where homes crumble, the earth groans, and Shell shrugs while polishing its halo of ESG nonsense.

In a rare act of temporary restraint (not to be confused with accountability), NAM has announced it won’t resume gas extraction in Warffum until the court rules on an appeal by the province of Groningen and the municipality of Het Hogeland. That’s right: Shell’s earthquake machine is pausing—not because they’ve realised that turning a region into a seismic mess might be morally questionable, but because they’re being legally forced to wait a few more days before continuing their extraction rampage. read more

Back to Petroleum: BP and Shell Reignite the Fossil Fire—with a Side of Green Spin

May 8th, 2025

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Shell—bankrolled by the usual suspects like BlackRock—is reportedly considering scooping up BP, or what’s left of its battered, green-tinted carcass.

It’s official. BP’s much-vaunted “Beyond Petroleum” rebrand has now aged about as well as crude in a plastic bottle. After decades of climate posturing, oil-soaked disasters, and a failed fling with windmills, BP has come crawling back to its true love: fossil fuels. Maybe it’s time to call the company what it really is—“Back to Petroleum”.

And what better partner in this hydrocarbon love story than Shell—the other half of the British oil aristocracy, and arguably the more ruthless cousin. Not content with polluting the planet, Shell has long enjoyed ties to geopolitical espionage (hello, Hakluyt) and a shameful history of operating in apartheid South Africa. BP wasn’t far behind, of course. When it comes to moral bankruptcy, these two have always shared a boardroom. read more

Exxon’s Eco-Warrior Makeover: Out-Greening Shell, the Sin Stock That Keeps on Spilling

Apr 29th, 2025

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by a human editor.

Well, well, well. Would you look at that. ExxonMobil — yes, that Exxon — is now strutting around like Greta Thunberg in an oil-stained tuxedo, about to overtake Shell and BP in so-called “low-carbon spending.” You know, the same Exxon that used to sneer at clean energy as a “beauty contest”? Suddenly it’s front row in the pageant.

According to investment guidance from six Western oil majors, Exxon now plans to splash out $30 billion on “low emissions opportunities” by 2030. That’s up from a humble $3 billion plan in 2021. Because apparently, all it takes is a PR makeover, some hydrogen buzzwords, and a boatload of government subsidies to turn one of the planet’s biggest polluters into an environmental pioneer. read more

Will Shell Finally Swallow BP?

Apr 17th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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This article was generated with the support of AI and reviewed by an editor for factual accuracy and satirical tone.

The fossil fuel fanfiction nobody asked for is back: Shell might finally devour BP — in what could become the biggest unholy alliance since, well… Shell and apartheid South Africa.

That’s right: after years of flirting and fumbling, the dirtiest merger fantasy in Big Oil is once again swirling through boardrooms and Bloomberg alerts.

Why now? Because activist hedge fund Elliott Management just bought a nearly 5% stake in BP and immediately demanded a boardroom bloodletting. Cue another round of speculation that Shell, Chevron, ADNOC, or some other oil-drunk conglomerate might swoop in and “rescue” BP from its decade-long identity crisis. read more

Shell’s “Successful Failure”: Still Failing, But With Even Bigger Bonuses

Mar 26th, 2025

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Courtesy of Global Witness

CEO Wael Sawan says his strategy is working — if you define ‘working’ as slashing renewables, kneeling to Wall Street, and praying the Trump administration sticks around.

Shell — the fossil-fueled titan that never met a barrel of oil it didn’t want to burn — has declared its latest strategy a “successful failure.” Which is corporate code for: We didn’t achieve what we said we would, but we did make rich people richer, so that counts, right?

Two years into CEO Wael Sawan’s so-called “10-quarter sprint” to remake Shell into a leaner, meaner profit machine, the results are in: read more

Shell’s Shaky Business: Now Predicting Its Own Earthquakes!

Mar 11th, 2025

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Ah, Shell—forever innovating new ways to ruin lives, one gas field at a time. The latest breakthrough? Science has now made it easier to predict the earthquakes caused by Shell and its fossil-fuel-loving friends in the Groningen region. That’s right—thanks to decades of unchecked greed and relentless gas extraction, we can now forecast when and where the next disaster will strike. What a win for modern research!

This delightful revelation comes courtesy of researcher Zhuldyzay Baki, who has found a way to analyze the seismic mess Shell and its drilling partners have inflicted upon the Netherlands. Her work at the University of Twente combines statistical models with geological insights to track the correlation between underground pressure drops (caused by, you guessed it, gas extraction) and earthquake intensity. Turns out, the areas where Shell has sucked the most gas out of the earth are the same ones where people’s homes are cracking apart. Who could have possibly predicted that? Oh wait, literally everyone who warned about this for years. read more

Shell & Friends: The Carbon Kings Laughing Their Way to Climate Collapse

Mar 5th, 2025

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Shell & Friends Are Holding the Planet Hostage

You know the world is in trouble when just 36 fossil fuel companies—led by the usual suspects, like Shell, ExxonMobil, and Saudi Aramco—are responsible for half of the planet’s carbon emissions in 2023. That’s 20 billion tonnes of CO₂ in a single year, because apparently, making obscene amounts of money off the destruction of the planet is a team sport.

The Science vs. Shell’s Business Model (Guess Who’s Winning?)

Reality check: Global emissions need to fall by 45% by 2030 to even have a chance of keeping temperature rise below 1.5°C. Instead? Emissions are still rising, because these companies refuse to stop sucking every last drop of oil, gas, and coal out of the Earth. The International Energy Agency has flat-out stated that any new fossil fuel projects launched after 2021 are incompatible with reaching net zero by 2050. But Shell? Oh no, they’re still expanding production while paying lip service to “green energy” in their PR statements. read more

Shell + BP Merger: The Ultimate Oil Giant Monopoly No One Asked For

Feb 26th, 2025

by John Donovan.

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…whispers of a Shell-BP mega-merger have resurfaced, sending investment bankers into a frenzy…

Because what the world really needs right now is an even bigger, greedier, more polluting oil conglomerate, whispers of a Shell-BP mega-merger have resurfaced, sending investment bankers into a frenzy. The proposed deal, which would create a $300 billion fossil fuel monstrosity, is being compared to ExxonMobil’s takeover of Pioneer Natural Resources and Chevron’s grab of Hess. In other words, Big Oil is doubling down on destruction, and Shell and BP don’t want to be left behind.

A Shell-BP merger would create an empire capable of taking on ExxonMobil ($480 billion market cap) and Chevron ($282 billion), solidifying its place among the biggest climate criminals on the planet. Supporters claim consolidation will magically bring “efficiencies” and “financial resilience,” while conveniently ignoring the inevitable job cuts, regulatory nightmares, and intensified climate devastation. Antitrust regulators might object, but when has that ever stopped the oil industry from bulldozing over public interest? read more

Should BP and Shell merge?

Feb 22nd, 2025

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If the goal is to accelerate environmental devastation, lay off thousands of workers, and cement Big Oil’s death grip on global energy policy, then sure—go right ahead.

Nothing screams “brighter future” like two of the UK’s most notorious polluters joining forces to double down on destruction. That’s right—some investment bankers and analysts, never ones to let a good environmental catastrophe go to waste, are floating the idea of a BP-Shell merger. The goal? To create a “national champion” capable of competing with the likes of France’s TotalEnergies and American titans ExxonMobil and Chevron. Because, obviously, the world needs another corporate Goliath ramping up oil extraction while sprinkling in just enough greenwashing to keep up appearances. read more

30 November 2023: Posted by John Donovan

The content below is sourced from current verifiable customer reviews of Shell Energy published on Trustpilot.
Extremely slow broadband for 10 months, not fixed. I have had slow broadband well below the guaranteed speed for 10 months and Shell Energy have not been able to fix it. They have tried sending about 4 or 5 engineers but have not fixed the problem. Gurps, who I have been dealing with most recently, has been friendly and polite, alth… Read more

Extremely Slow Shell Broadband

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NAM, of course, is the joint venture of Shell and ExxonMobil that milked Groningen for decades.

Shell—bankrolled by the usual suspects like BlackRock—is reportedly considering scooping up BP, or what’s left of its battered, green-tinted carcass.

Shell & Friends Are Holding the Planet Hostage

…whispers of a Shell-BP mega-merger have resurfaced, sending investment bankers into a frenzy…

If the goal is to accelerate environmental devastation, lay off thousands of workers, and cement Big Oil’s death grip on global energy policy, then sure—go right ahead.

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